05 March 2012

24th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A bunch of spam mail
About the size of male tail
Is right now for sale

An old stupid pail
Buys that bunch of vicious mail
For her tiny snail

The innocent snail
Reads all that batch of wicked mail
Like a fairy tale

---

A gunpowder plot
Had a really nasty blot
He just drank a lot

To the parking lot
Or even up to the Camelot
He carried his blot

At last a blood clot
During flight with Aeroflot
Killed the drunken plot

---

A bottle of stale ale
Can't decide whether it's male
Or rather female

When it wasn't yet stale
He felt to be rather male
Now she feels female

An  abstaining whale
Who doesn't drink any ale
Means he may be male

But a boozy snail
Who does not like the stale ale
Thinks she is female

At last a wise pail
Decided that it was male
As well as female

---

A rusty tractor
Wants to be a conractor
For a reactor

But the huge reactor
Does not deem the poor tractor
As benefactor

He is just too weak
To work hard the entire week
In the huge plant's reek

So the old tractor
Became a good contractor
For the town's pastor

He distributes
And also well contributes
To pastor's tributes

---

A bon-vivant swine
Would not like at all to dine
With no bottle of wine

Her passion for wine
Does not very well combine
With work in a mone

A drunken miner
Is but danger container
And no real gainer

She must give-up wine
Or her work in the coal mine
'Cause they dont't combine

For she likes her wine
Much more than the dirty mine
She joins a churus line

---

Do not copulate
Only formulate
If the spunk comes late

Later calculate
If the results correlate
Write them on the slate

------


Sorry, no more stuff right now
or in the near future,
but if you like you can go to
http://yatib-t.blogspot.com/
to see some of my humble translation attempts ...

27 February 2012

23rdh bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

A fat gas lighter
Bought a scrapped jet fighter
To make skies brighter

Mending the fighter
Wants to become much lighter
As well as slighter

When fit to fighter
He switches on its starter
To force skies brighter

But without engine
And no proper kerosene
He can't bright'n the scene

---

A mild acolyte
Became a fierce proselyte
To obtain more light

He is frustrated
By way the Church curated
And he was rated

His condemnation
Means eternal damnation
Without salvation

He didn't get woman
With a naked abdomen
As the faith omen

But he did find
Peace and freedom of mind
And faith that is kind

---

A huge loudspeaker
Somehow lost his right sneaker
Which made him meeker

Partly bare-footed
He feels as if uprooted
Or much polluted

To become booted
He was quite wrongly routed
Where pirates looted

But such a pirate
Has a huge and quite full crate
With stuff of high rate

They gave him a boot
Taken from their latest loot
Though for the left foot

Thus somehow booted
He is no longer looted
Or ev'n polluted

---

A glass of honey
Inherited some money
Which made him funny

He is no more sweet
But tastes like rotten beet
Or some wicked weed

No one wants to eat
Honey tasting like sour seed
Or the putrid wheat

So the honey
Quickly spent all his money
Not to be funny

He is again sweet
Far more than some sugar beet
Much pleasant to eat

---

Sorry, no more bananas today
but you can go to
http://yatib-t.blogspot.com/
to see some of my humble translation attempts ...

20 February 2012

22nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---


My ancient orchard
Right behind my backyard
Now becomes but junkyard

Where you may once find
The old junk of any kind
That can come to mind

... [*]

I bribed a mustard
With a piece of faked wild card
To cleanup that junkyard

But it is too hard
For a poor ancient mustard
To make clean the yard

-

[*]

An old avatar
As well as strange movie star
Or barrel of black tar

A transformator
As well as an allocator
Or dislocator

A graduator
As well as an fornicator
Or combinator

... etc (DIY s'il vous plait)

---

A thick sloppy spook
Keeps losing her bank chequebook
Visiting a rook

She means that the rook
Has stolen her every chequebook
Like some nasty crook

But the honest rook
Says she nev'r steels a chequebook
She is not a crook

Their futile argument
That tires every oppponent
Seems to have no end

At last the rook
Finds all pieces of chequebook
By her backyard brook

So their argument
That tired every oppponent
Came to happy end

---

A young witty clock
Is now under key and lock
With suspicous flock

She pleads innocent
In a forceful argument
With her opponent

She did not download
Any copyrighted code
In illegal mode

Hard disk inspection
Ruled out all the suspicion
And proved her version

The case has been quit
With her complete acquit
Thanks to her quick wit

---

A bag of plaster
Would like to harden faster
Which is disaster

If hardened faster
The light shed on the plaster
Can lose its luster

But the plaster
Means that hardening faster
Would please the caster

But the caster
Doesn't think hardening faster
Is good for plaster

But stupid plaster
Anyway hardened faster
Annoying caster

He says that plaster
Which hardened so much faster
Is hard to master

---

My water heater
Is an ardent meat eater
And wicked cheater

He makes but little heat
But eats huge amounts of meat
While trying to cheat

If he keeps to cheat
I may deprive him of meat
Some weed will he eat

The threat did succeed
From now on he does not cheat
And ev'n eats less meat

---

A drunk computer
Scrapped his advanced new scooter
Wounding commuter

Annoyed commuter
Threatens to sue computer
Calling him looter

But the computer
Blames his GPS router
Who didn't switch hooter

The accused router
Says that the drunk computer
Didn't brake the scooter

At last computer
Paid the wounded commuter
With his srapped scooter

---

13 February 2012

21st bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Once upon a time
When all the world was but slime
A virus lost dime

He claims it's a crime
That somebody stole his dime
And hid it in slime

But an E.coli
Means that what he tells is lie
As he's pretty sly

You can't have a dime
If the world is only slime
It's not the right time

He says it isn't lie
Because slime rule doesn't apply
To things that can fly

And he had a dime
Now lost somewhere in the slime
By some vicious crime

---

An old paradigm
Somehow lost her only dime
In the pail of slime

She sits on the lime
Peering straight into the slime
But can't see the dime

Jumping from the lime
She should dive into the slime
To retrieve her dime

But worn paradigm
Could not dive into the slime
Even in her prime

So she hired a snail
Promising him a long nail
If he dives to pail

But the greedy snail
Says that only for a nail
He wouldn't dive to pail

So the paradigm
Lost forever her last dime
In the pail of slime

---

A conceited prime
Is said to commit a crime
Stealing a worn rhyme

She says that the rhyme
Is in public a long time
So it is no crime

If a decent prime
Stole a copyrighted rhyme
She would become slime

At the present time
There's no copyrighted rhyme
Only a proud prime

---

I am suspicious
That my baby is vicious
Though looks delicious

She is but too smart
In ripping my heart apart
Giving me a start

When I sleep dead drunk
She copulates with a skunk
Disgusting like gunk

She says I'm insane
And cures me with her long cane
Giving me much pain

---

My stupid monkey
Listens to my wild funky
And becomes junkie

As he is clunky
Doesn't know that such wild funky
Isn't good for monkey

For him is hip-hop
Or some really stupid pop
From which kitch may drop

But such dull music
Makes him quite a bit too sick
As it has no lick

So to my monkey
I play a kind of funky
But quite out of key

---

A worn anorak
Discovered that his ancient truck
Got a serious crack

He is really struck
By such a batch of bad luck
For his rusty truck

In utter despair
He tries some available repair
With nothing to spare

With a band-aid
Obtained from his loving maid
He tries some first aid

It is understood
That despite his nasty mood
It cannot be good

A sadistic brack
Offers him some other truck
If he goes to rack

But no anorak
Would go to a torture rack
For the sake of truck

He accepts this wrack
Scraps for good his old truck
And escapes to crack

---

In my ancient pail
I found a little pretty whale
Playing with a snail

But the wicked snail
Abuses the little poor whale
With his rusty nail

If he doesn't behave
I will throw him to the cave
Or some musty grave

He's afraid of cave
Let alone a musty grave
And tries to behave

So in my old pail
Plays a whale
Along with snail
And no one must wail

---

A poor orator
Likes to speak on Creator
And alligator

...[*]

An old curator
Means that such orator
Is a harm factor

At last orator
Became a good narrator
And fruitful author


His crazy tales
On life in ancient Wales
... [*]
Have quite good sales


[*]

On transformator
As well as on allocator
Or dislocator

On graduator
As well as on fornicator
Or combinator

... etc (DIY s'il vous plait)

---

06 February 2012

20th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

A lively spider
Likes to drink orange cider
Which makes his webs wider

Sitting in his glider
- Always an easy rider -
He just drinks cider

When he once landed
He found cider rebranded
Which left him grounded

New brand of cider
Doesn't allow make webs wider
By gliding spider

So grounded spider
Became rodeo rider
Selling his glider

---

A dull shopping cart
Thinks it will be pretty smart
To get into chart

He founded a band
With a true-original brand
"The magical land"

None of them can play
But they hope that in LA
They'll find chicks to lay

All DJ's got his pay
In order to play and play
His song
on King-Kong

But his horrible art
Will never get in any chart
To rip world apart

---

An old-fashioned table
Who spent his life in a horse stable
Became unstable

There is a false fable
That he is as well unable
Find way to his stable

As he does not drink
- All booze for him is but stink -
There's no probable link

At medical station
Doctor's examination
Found explanation

He has forgotten
That one his leg is rotten
Which made it shorten

---

A thick slice of slate
Who's never been a bit late
Married a tin plate

Alas - the poor plate
Just cannot help being late
Which annoys the slate

But he has courage
To sustain his new marriage
Loving her porridge

She's wonderful cook
Who can cook
Even old rook
Or a rusty hook

Without other tease
Thanks to her huge expertise
They can live at ease

---

A bag of stale air
Wails he is treated unfair
Which makes him despair

His wife the rich chair
Refused to admit his share
In firm that makes hair

Now the supreme court
Gave him the legal support
Which she can't distort

Thus his legal share
Amounts to pair of dog's hair
Anyway to spare

---

If our Creator
Is love'n'peace generator,
Hate suffocator

How can he sustain
All this world's strain
And the millions slain ?

If this world's tension
Is part of his intention
Why this pretention ?

---

A triple-twisted wire
From by now uncompleted spire
Likes to play with fire

But the timid spire
Is afraid of every fire
Produced by the wire

So his obsession
With no chance of progression
Lead to regression

Even a bonfire
Can any longer inspire
The once obsessed wire

So glad is the spire
That she now allows the wire
To heat her by fire

Properly heated
She feels so greatly treated
As if completed

---

Has a Gothic spire
Any power to inspire
Wicked human mire ?

Are we to expire
Without bit of internal fire ?
Is future so dire ?

---

A bottle of Rhine wine
Noticed that her double-curved spine
Started to incline

Doctor Centipede
Sent her to an orthopede
With suspicious speed

Examination
Concludes age declinatin
Lead to inclination

She is not so old
Thus unafraid of their scold
Suggests her bad cold

New explanation
Says that intoxication
Lead to inclination

---

A slim trunk of junk
Wants to learn how to slamdunk
Thus increase his spunk

He pays an old skunk
Who coaches the team of gunk
And is always drunk

He tries really hard
To jump up the required yard
Aided by a faked card

But it's understood
He can't make more than a foot
There is no dispute

So the drunken skunk
Suggests to get rid of junk
To make the ball sunk

But he loves his junk
And rather gives up slamdunk
Though he'll get no spunk

---

A pail of mustard
Would like to play with faked card
Thus become more smart

She is too honest
Doesn't want to foul her own nest
So it's tough request

Her husband custard
Does not think it is so hard
To play with faked card

In their own backyard
He copulates with a lard
Who is not too smart

That gave her the spunk
To have wild sex with a skunk
So low has she sunk

So now the mustard
Has learned to play with faked card
And became more smart

30 January 2012

19th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---


A sad nightingale
Despises those kinds of ale
That may become stale

Drinking the stale ale
Makes him cry, howl and wail
And all around pale

So the nightingale
Avoids all kinds of stale ale
And doesn't howl and wail

---

A musical phrase
Wants to erase
Words of praise
And feelings they raise

She deems them harmful
Fearful, hateful and mournful
Shameful and wailful

They should be hated
And language thus expurgated
Must be high-rated

---

A right-minded hare
All of a sudden became heir
Of the late dog's hair

He asked a wise mare
If to sell it for a chair
Would be right and fair

She says it is rare
Having nowhere any pair
And is worth to spare

But the prudent hare
Only wants to buy a chair
And doesn't need dog's hair


---

Two hairs of the dog
Living in the empty bog
Created a weblog

But in deserted bog
There is nothing to weblog
Except one old clog

---

Taking a shower
He regained his former power
And escaped Tower

But undercover
Eating too much fresh clover
He lost that power

---

A wild spook of straw
For whom I once used to draw
Eats the meat but raw

Cooked meat makes him crawl
And like some Southern man drawl
On the urban sprawl

Though he did not grow
In suburb but in a grove
Where the male rooks crow

---

An old husk of corn
Who was once a star of porn
Now cries in self-scorn

His heart is quite torn
Thinking of day he was born
To his mother corn

---

I got sclerosis
From avitaminosis
Eating but wild roses

I have tried to cure
With a dose of horse manure
Because that's for sure [*]

To my surprise
Instead my vitamins' rise
I turned into fries

[*]
http://www.getlyrics.com/frank-zappa/rhyming-man-lyrics/

---

The Bearer of Light
Has all of us in his sight
Which is clear and bright

Later in his pit
- And no one can escape it -
We'll be less than spit

---

A curious clover
Decided to discover
Who holds real power

A rusty shower
Means that those with true power
Sit in the Tower

Watching the Tower
The clover sees no power
But a landrover

Through her telescope
She sees small people, piece of rope
And one microscope

Deemed to be corrupt
The project has been scrapped
But she feels trapped

In her next project
She has chosen as an object
The Buddha's subject

---

The Master of Flies
Who under conscious minds lies
Tells but horrible lies [*]

There's no possible way
How to make him run away
He's with us to stay

[*]

He lies on the fries
And also about the tries
He lies on the cries

He lies on the wise
And also about the flies
He lies on the rice

He lies on the spies
And also about the skies
He lies on the lies

...

---

A slice of butter
Who lives in a wide gutter
Is struck by stutter

His wife a shutter
Mutters against his stutter
Which can speech clutter

There's no remedy
So he takes role
Of mad mole
In a comedy

He became a star
At least in the nearest bar
Which cured his mind's scar

Even his shutter
At present stopped to mutter
Against his stutter

---

A neat slice of bread
Is afraid of every tread
He says it's a dread

His current phobia
Is worse than xenophobia
Or some dystopia

Even horse manure
Although otherwise for sure [*]
Did not provide a cure

There are plenty of cures
For others but not for his curse
Means his shrink's nurse

[*]
http://www.getlyrics.com/frank-zappa/rhyming-man-lyrics/

---

A tremendous crate
Would like to evaporate
And raise her heat rate

Turned into vapour
She would fly straight to Bospor
Without bad stupor

Asia and Europe
From the clouds' cover would pop
Waiting for her drop

Is there inventor
Of such heat generator
- Evaporator ?

The answer is no
She would rather become snow
As far as I know

There's no actor
Until some fusion reactor
Becomes real factor

So frustrated crate
With no way to evaporate
Sustains her heat rate

---

An old-fashioned chair
Spent all her life in despair
That she has no pair

She is so unique
As some  sober beatnik
Or the first sputnik

She doesn't care a bit
To become an exhibit
And wants to scrap it

From her spare nylon
She will make an exact clone
Not to be alone

---

A bear and a hare
All the time continue to stare
On a pretty mare

It annoys the mare
Because such a constant stare
Is nothing like fair

But the lusty pair
Maintains they just like to stare
On her pretty hair

As far as they care
She does not need to be bare
Before constant stare

She took them to court
Looking for the law support
To end wicked sport

The judge's verdict
As anyone may predict
Was but short and strict

They must be detained
And their lusty stare must end
Which is what she meant

23 January 2012

18th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

I find my ticket
For a game of cricket
To be but wicked

I tried to lick it
And - unable to stick it -
I know it's wicked

But I love cricket :
How to get a new ticket
Not at all wicked ?

I have no money
Because I must buy honey
For my sweet bunny

I cannot forge it
As - having no proper kit -
I'll never make it ...

---

A tiny spilled bean
Has got a tremendous spleen
For being unclean.

To wash up himself
He consulted an old elf
From the upper shelf.

But the silly elf
Cannot even wash himself
Though he's over twelve.

A skillful marine
Means that the washing machine
Makes everything clean

So the unclean bean
Washes up in the machine
But remains unclean ...

---

A failed politician
Became a bad physician
And worse musician

He does not know it
Because of his infirm wit
He tends to blow it

He thinks he is good
So he plays his ancient oud
Always in good mood

---

A rose of jelly
Makes it big in the telly
Showing her belly.

Her grumpy husband
Who plays guitar in a band
Says she should mend.

She thinks he's but fool
Who was never really cool
Since leaving his school

Their fierce arguments
Are full of bad sentiments
Without compliments

Marriage splits apart
Both of them being too smart.
Spoiled it from the start ...

---

My testosterone
Makes of me a lazy drone
Lusty and rape-prone.

Getting rid of it
May damage my male outfit
And that's quite unfit.

So I must tolerate
But not at all saturate
Its high mischief rate ...

---

A long shuck of corn
Makes it really big in  porn
Which brings him much scorn

He is rather coarse
feels no remorse
For his current course

And his third wife
Sees no harm in such a life
Full of daily strife

---

Donald the Drake
Trod upon his garden rake
Causing it to break

He loved so his rake
To be likely to break
Or drown in the lake

His wife Daisy
Thinks he is downright crazy
And of course lazy

---

A self-assured wart
Despises all kinds of art
As not enough smart

But he likes each chart
For he deems them all as art
Which is indeed smart

---

An unfaithful mouse
Sinning in the slaughterhouse
Cheats his faithful spouse

His bigot girlfriend
Doesn't like such a shameful trend
Saying it must end

He knows that of course
The Church won't grant him divorce
To end his ill course

Only solution
Is the priest's absolution
By resolution ...

---

A huge capricorn
Wants to embellish each horn
With three cards of porn

His wife doesn't like it
As such a shameful kit
Must not be naked

---

A nice unicorn
Damaged his beautiful horn
Digging up some corn

But a weird pundit
Promises him to mend it
Having the proper kit

He is known to master
All kinds of glue and plaster
To the right cluster

Indeed he did it
But he warns it might be split
If violently hit

Thus the unicorn
Is now cautious with his horn
And doesn't dig up corn

---

My botched creation
Is poor incorporation
Of Lord's intention

His inspiratiom
May be in expiration
Past long duration ...

---

A bottle of stale ale
With hoarse-voiced nightingale
Like together wail

They wail that they fail
They wail for ungranted bail
And for distant gale

They wail they can't hail
And also for rusty nail
They wail for lost mail

They wail for holed pail
And also for being male
Without a female

They wail they are pale
And also for shameful sale
They wail for killed snail

They wail for torn sail
And also for crooked rail
They wail for cut tail

They wail for dead whale
For being hoarse-voiced and stale
They wail for lost tale

Who will drink  that ale
And chase off that nightingale
To end their ill wail ?

16 January 2012

17th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

One, two
A bag of stew
Sits in a loo

Three, four
Behind locked door
Sweeping the floor

Five, six
Plays with the wicks
Amusing chicks

Seven, eight
Playing a serenade
With a hand-grenade

Nine, ten
Once stole a hen
From my pigpen ...

---

All this world's strain
I can no longer sustain
It's harmful to brain.

If it continues
It may lead to the bad news :
Madness on the loose.

---

My holed memory
Can no more hold a story
From my history.

Is there remedy
For its shameful comedy,
Maybe tragedy ?

---

A drunken triangle
Lost his proud right angle
In fight with a tangle.

In fact the right angle
Flew from the despised triangle
To live with that tangle.

But the sloppy tangle
Soon annoyed the neat triangle
Who can stand no dangle

So their partnership
Turned to sour relationship -
Nothing like friendship.

---

I should not worry
If my leaky memory
Retains no story

In my history
There is not a single story
Worth of memory

---

A spook and a hook
Killed a hundred years old rook
And began to cook ...

(To bring down cost
They could make of it a toast
Or just simply roast.

But they should not fry
Because fried rook is so dry
It can make one cry ... )

They insist to cook
Because the stupid spook
Wants but a cooked rook :

So they cook and cook
Already in Guiness book
Still can't eat the rook ...

---

Some devil in me
Makes of me a dull dummy
- That is quite a whammy.

He can be funny
When he thinks about money,
Or sweet like honey

So I do not know
Whether to love him or no :
Rather make him go ...

---

My bad poetry
Will never save a single tree
Is it worth entry ?

I am much afraid
It can make no proper raid
On mankind's faults' rate ...

---

A small satellite
Always decent and polite
Applied for more light.

His application
Got high classification
In his location.

Further promotion
Without any commtotion
Was slowed in motion

The Light Commission
With an open admission
Delays permisson

The Comission Chair
Means it would be quite unfair
To speed this affair

The incoming fact
Must be convincingly backed
For Permission Act

Waiting in a pipe
Of the proper size and type
It must become ripe

So the satellite
No less patient or polite
Still waits for more light ...

---

(One, two, three)
Jump from the tree
And become free
With no decree

(Four, five, six)
Frighten the chicks
Stealing their sticks
Ignore the sicks

(Seven, eight, nine)
Let the sun shine
Right on your spine
Without decline ...

---

The angel of doom
Lurks behind all kinds of boom
May they seem to bloom.

Sooner or later
All falls down to his crater
There is no shelter.

(If it happens soon
Bribe him with your silver spoon
To get better doom ...)

---

A young cautious fox
Bought two pairs of woollen socks
To protect from pox.

But a shabby box
Means that no kind of such socks
Protects you from pox.

Only the heat shocks
Got by whisky on the rocks
Are the stuff that blocks.

And so they quarrel
Chewing the leafs of laurel
From an oil barrel.

---

A fox and an ox
Despite the locks
Stole three socks
In the city docks.

They sold the stol'n socks
To an old chill-hating hoax
For a small soap box.

Then in the Hyde Park
They campaigned for right to bark
With their friendly shark

Before the small flocks
Of all kinds of wicked blokes
Who deemed them as mocks.

Now are under arrest
Based on their DNA test
Which ended their quest.

---

A wicked wicket
Counterfeited a ticket
For a game of cricket

She wants to sell it
To a miserable dallit
For a gun bullet

He tries to lick it
And unable to stick it
He finds it's wicked

So has the wicket
Learned : Faking a ticket
Must be more wicked

09 January 2012

16th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---


Two bottles of red wine
Can turn me into a swine
If lying supine.

In such dizzy state
I prefer to meditate
And not hesitate.

Can sleeping prostrate
In some easy way curate
My high error rate ?

Who will illustrate
On a slate or on a crate
My low success rate ?

Who may tolerate
But also well saturate
My huge boozing rate ?

---

Who will arrange
My stay out of shooting range
Of world that's so strange ?

---

Lik'n the rule by law
Examining flaw by flaw
With the rule of law.

What is your inf'rence
Is there any difference
Or strange coherence ?

---

When my mobile phone
Emits its loud shrieky tone
I'm scared to the bone.

I wish I knew why
Am I so timid and shy
And what cure to try ...

---

By coincidence
I got some strange evidence
Of God's confidence.

But such evidence
Got by sheer coincidence
Hasn't my confidence.

---

When I was still young
I used to get deadly drunk
Like a stinky skunk.

No more am I young
But I still get deadly drunk
Like a vat of spunk.

---

An old stinky skunk
Prefers to get deadly drunk
With a vat of spunk

While being so drunk
They pack themselves in a trunk
That may not get shrunk.

---

My cold heart of stone
Is so much rare and alone
Like some fossil's clone.

But it's such a stone
That crumbles by a loud phone tone
Scared right to the bone.

---

A green potato
With a rotten tomato
Once challenged NATO.

But their arsenal
Sold them by a criminal
Was unfunctional.

---

One, two
My buckled shoe
Three, four
Wants to sweep the floor
Five, six
But all the broomsticks
Seven, eight
Just eat from single plate
Nine, ten
An underdone hen

---

One, two
Will you tattoo
Three, four
An old nasty bore
Five, six
In case he licks
Seven, eight
All pieces of slate
Nine, ten
In your pigpen

---

One, two
Your span is too
Three, four
Wide for my door
Five, six
Get it a fix
Seven, eight
Until it's late
Nine, ten
To live in zen.

---

One, two, three
I want to be free
Four, five, six
For all the kicks
Seven, eight, nine
That are so fine
Ten, eleven, twelve
To boost my self
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen
And get higher esteem
Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen
While staying in quarantine

---

One, two, three, four
I locked the door
Five, six, seven, eight
Because one plate
Nine, ten, eleven, twelve
Weeps on the shelf
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen
He must run to the canteen

---

All the human hate
The Last Day will concentrate
At the devil's gate

He'll investigate
From where did it propagate
To give it right rate.

---

One united state
Proposes to separate
Thus cut its crime rate.

But the President
Passed the bold requirement
To the Parliament.

'Cause such secession
May lead to deep depression
With fast progression.

But the Parliament
Rejects the requirement
Without argument.

Though no secession
Takes place, yet the recession
Is in succession ...

---

The testosterone
Is such a nasty hormone
Good but for a drone ...

It makes one fault-prone
Or turns him to a moron
Who may himself drown.

---

02 January 2012

15th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

Have happy New Year
Forever free of all fear
So nasty to bear.

Let not a child's tear
Be ever shed on this sphere
But of joy or cheer.

---

Be like Robin Hood
Get me jewels with some food
And [beep] off for good.

---

I released my blues
To fool around on the loose
Out of my recluse.

But my faithful blues
Does not like it on the loose -
Got back to recluse.

How I love this blues !
Even better than some booze
Keeps me out of noose ...

---

Can you give me clues
Why is that old delta blues
So much in misuse ?

When, instead of booze
It can keep folks out of noose
If their life's but lose.

---

Deadly infection
Of life's overperfection
Without defection ...

Which vaccination
Would save any poor nation
From its damnation ?

---

Is this progression
Toward recession
Sign of regression ?

Jobs regulation
For a long time duration
No compensation ...

But every city
Overflown with obesity
And love's scarcity ...

---

Purification
Turned to putrification
- Lord's provocation ?

Or compensation
For some strange aberration
In His creation ?

Don't expect answer
From Mighty Divine Dancer
Nor Great Enhancer ...

---

Great Combinator
Is Big Communicator
And false myths creator

Vicious schemes designer
And stratagems provider
Weird plots container

Moral rules bender
Neat, sleek and slender
... Meet Ostap Bender

---

Take your proper part
In tearing my heart apart
Baby, it's so smart

Just give me a start
It's not science, it's not art
Tearing one's heart apart

---

Is our corruption
Only a little disruption
In Lord's construction

Worth of no action -
Or may be our destruction
Price for non-action ?

Better do not ask
True answer without a mask
Is impossible task ...

---

With God on our side
We enjoy a dizzy slide
Where the devils ride.

We'll get warm welcome
When all chill fears are overcome
Fuel will we become ...

Is it not chilling
Or rather pretty thrilling ?
It's in God's willing !

---

Two parallels weep
That their flat space is too steep
For their common sleep.

Shout on them to hear :
Do move to some neat sphere
And sin with no fear !

---

Join the  wicked art
Of tearing this world apart
It is pretty smart

It costs you no fart
To play there your proper part
And stay on the chart.

---

It is so thrilling
But as well a bit chilling
My girl is willing !

Why is she willing ?
I have no pound no shilling
But debts to ceiling

---

A barrel of glue
Boasted he fought at Waterloo
Before the French flew.

But I got a clue
He just sat in water loo
And fear turned him blue.

---

I had not a clue
What may come out of the blue :
A barrel of glue !

Who'll give me a clue
How to use so much glue
In my tiny loo ?

---

Two bottles of black beer
Boosted up my diminished cheer
More than I could bear

I collapsed in fear
That my car of yesteryear
May turn to some sphere.

---

A young pretty devil
Was sent here to spread evil
Affecting our will.

But this good devil
Is not capable of evil
In deed nor in will.

Although Beelzebub
Makes threats to him with his club
He can't change this stub.

---

Is democracy
That loves the theocracy
Sheer priestocracy ?

Or autocracy
Preferred by bureaucracy
- Huge cleptocracy ?

---

I have no desire
To reveal much on friendly fire
In that dirty mire

It was just too dire ...
There is nothing to inspire
In this strange war's fire.

---

Two cheeky right angles
Escaped their stupid rectangles
Making them triangles.

Those former quadrangles
Which have been turned to triangles
Have now three right angles.

Well, indeed they have
As spheric space is so brave
For all right angles' crave.

But they aren't content
As lost twenty five percent
Of former content.

So they want to chase
Runaway angles in each place
Of their spheric space.

But to find loose angles
Is too hard for these triangles
In space full of tangles ...

---

I can only frown
All my money has now flown -
Accounts overdrawn ...

I deserve but scorn :
So much unfit was I born
To profit on porn.

---

Two fat oil barrels
Waste time in petty quarrels
Who deserves laurels.

Each prefers himself
Citing works of every elf
Ov'r the age of twelve.

I think it's nonsense
But they have no common sense
So just give offence.

26 December 2011

14th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

I hear my monkey wail
As he lost his pretty tail
Fighting with a snail.

My darling, don't wail
I will buy you a new tail
As well as a nail

To secure your tail
Against nasty wicked snail
Who crept to this tale.

---

The boat is sinking
With everyone singing
And no one thinking.

Is the fear to think
On anything
On the brink
Reason why they sing ?

---

An artful hornet
Wrote a pretty sonnet
On his new cornet.

He'll use the instrument
In his planned experiment
As a complement.

---

A confident baboon
Plans a mission to the Moon
In a rubber balloon.

For such a bold mission
He needs permission
From Space Comission.

The cheeky monkey
Will bribe the chairing donkey
And get the right key.

With right permission
The intended moon mission
Is ripe for ignition.

And it happened soon
On the twenty-firt of June
The day of new moon.

Balloon reached the peak
Of the hill
Called mount Bill
Where it got a leak.

As the cracked balloon
Would never reach the Earth's moon
Let down is baboon.

---

Is it not funny
That we no more have money
Even for honey ? ...

Oh, my dear bunny
Don't bother me with funny
Stuff about money.

Just get the honey
For me and my little Fanny
And forget money.

---

Is our Creator
Just a Crime Perpetuator
Or Great Curator ?

No one ever knows
Better ask the future snows
If they mind wind's blows ...

---

A tiny spoiled snake
Makes a fuss about his cake
Wailing it's but fake.

The fussy reptile
Moans it may come out of style
In just a little while.

Look here, my sweet snake
If you do not like your cake
Drown with it in lake !

---

I may be but fake
Created by strange mistake
Touched with devil's rake ...

Or maybe some quake
Caused a huge powerful wake
Which gave me a shake ...

How long may it take
For God to fix His mistake
And wipe out such fake ?

---

A cake from Little Lake
With a snake from Bigger Lake
Stole my dear oat flake.

It was as if quake
Created some destructive wake
Which made me to shake.

Investigations
Didn't lead to proper actions
Only constructions.

Without my sweet flake
There is no measure to take
But drown in a lake ...

---

Don't investigate
Whar disease does propagate
From the devil's gate.

Such a foolish action
May lead to your destruction
By fierce reaction.

Better meditate
And bring your mind to calm state
Unaware of hate.

---

An old blind lemon
With a young pretty demon
Sermon
On
Mammon.

They fiercely campaign
'gainst the hypermarket chain
That causes but strain.

Instead they propose
Such things that it oppose
What ? Try to suppose ...

(Not a creature slain
Only growth that can sustain ...
Go on without pain ...)

---

Can you smell the rat ?
Every day he gets more fat
While budgets are cut

He doesn't live in squat
Nor some shabby social flat -
Far away from that !

Never to Walmart
Does he bring his credit card
For him it's but fart.

To give him a start
And tear his world all apart
Would be pretty smart.

---

Mammon Almighty
Don't lead me to poverty
That is so dirty

Make me enough rich
Not to live in shabby ditch
With some ugly witch

Give me 'nough money
To make my dull life funny
With some sweet bunny

---

I pity the fool
Who, thick-headed as a mule
Will never get cool.

Sitting at his school
He nev'r lifts his ass from stool
Not to break some rule.

Swimming in the pool
He plays
Always
By the rule ...
Like that beast with wool.

I can't stand the fool
I must one day steel his stool
To make him once cool.

19 December 2011

13th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A frost-hating weed
Obtained for all of her breed
Neat coats made of tweed.

The winter indeed
Could freeze reed as well as weed
With tremendous speed.

But there is no need
To worry about the weed
Protected by tweed.

---
My picky parrot
Doesn't eat privet or carrot
He says it's but rot.

He eats fatty pork
And overdone roasted stork
With his rusty fork

I say he shouldn't eat
So much fat and salty meat
But he thinks I cheat.

---

No resurrection
Can bring our lives correction
To reach perfection.

But true affection
Despite its imperfection
Doesn't cause objection.

Without affection
There is no real corection
To our impetfection.

---

All this filth and sleaze
Can become with shocking ease
Our deadly disease.

So we must increase
Our effort to kill that sleaze
Or we as well cease.

---

A wicked baboon
Stole my father's silver spoon
Which caused him to swoon.

That cheeky monkey
Has stolen as well my home key
And escaped on donkey.

Please catch the baboon
To get back both key and spoon
Yet this afternoon.

---

When it is my turn
For the tour without return
Probably to burn

Why should I regret
That I don't know the secret
Of divine thought-thread ?

---

Once in a blue moon
I meet a crazy little loon
Late in the afternoon

Her husband baboon
Says she pretty likes to croon
For a dime's worth spoon.

So just for a spoon
I can listen  to her croon
Until I may swoon.

---

Though not at all brave
I don't like to be a slave
It's freedom I crave.

Please find me a cave
Where I could build my enclave
Free of any slave.

---

A small humble triangle
With no right or obtuse angle
Approached a rectangle.

He asked the quadrangle
To sell him a side and angle
(Thus turn to triangle).

But no decent rectangle
Would sell any side or angle
To circle or triangle.

---

A tiny humble sine
Worked with a big proud cosine
On a road decline

But seeing no sign
How to grow towards cosine
He left for coal mine.

Because no cosine
Can work without its humble sine
It flattened decline.

---

Human perception
Results in misconception
If not deception.

Don't trust your senses
Because within their fences
Truth has few chances.

---

A talkative circle
Maintains that his uncle
Could make a miracle :

That he can encircle
A shellfish or a barnacle
To produce carbuncle

But I think no circle
Can make a solid miracle
Without an oracle.

---

I feel as if shrunk
Every time I lie dead drunk
Somewhere in the trunk.

But my doctor said
That what is shrunk
When I'm drunk
Is brain in my head.

I think it's good news
As I can't find any use
For brain when I booze.

---

A young pretty snail
Received a suspicious mail
Offering a pail

Though she needs no pail
But a hammer and a nail
To secure her veil.

With no secure veil
Her quest to marry a whale
Would probably fail.

---

What personality
Could turn us to sanity
Of life's quality ?

(As if quantity
Could replace its quality ...
What insanity !)

---

I wishfully think
That if I enough drink and drink
All my troubles may shrink

Although my old shrink
Means that no amount of drink
Makes any trouble shrink.

Despite that I drink
And bring
Sanity
To brink
Though my troubles don't shrink ...

---

My conclusion
Aft'r years of disillusion :
Long live reclusion !

No more inclusions
Leading to false illusions
And bad solutions ...

---

12 December 2011

12th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Is indeed devil
The source of all that's evil
Or is it Lord's will ?

Humans are evil
More or less like the devil -
Is it our God's will ?

If indeed devil
Is product of Goodness' will
Why is he evil ?

---

Put aside
Your pride
And give you mind a free ride
To the other side.

---

Huck the famous hound
Having finished his twelfth round
Left us graveward bound.

---

Our old cucumber
Quite likes her SS number
That makes her slumber

But a wise cabbage
Told her that it is garbage
Discording Babbage.

It left her confused :
Should SSN be refused
And other thing used ?

Or is cabbage wrong
And SSNs are 'nough strong
To remain for long ?

---

Are we not sinking
Deep into wishful thinking
With our minds shrinking ?

---

Why am I so tired ?
Because I was wrongly wired
When devil conspired ?

---

A cheeky carrot
Boasted before our parrot
She can dance fox-trot

"Well" - said the parrot
"Most probably you will rot
And not dance fox-trot."

Hurt deep in her pride
Secretly she moaned and cried
After all - he's right ...

---

Does the history
Preserve mankind's memory
As a true story ?

I do not think so
For nothing I heard or saw
Abides such a law.

---

An ancient partridge
Says he once worked in Oak Ridge
Where he built a bridge.

But a wren from wire
Chirps he set the bridge on fire
And vanished in mire.

Who's wrong and who's right ?
The answer is not in sight -
If you know it, write.

---

Despite the fashion
Do not join the discussion
On world's recession :

It is but nonsense
Lacking any feel or sense
Of people's offense.

---

A plump overripe plum
Leaves for good the nasty slum
Which made her feel glum.

She has bought a house
For money from her late spouse
Eaten by a mouse.

But ev'n out of slum
Because being just a plum.
She still feels so glum ...

---

Will human nature
One day become more mature
To save its culture ?

---

Some new unknown plant
Quickly occupies the land
In huge power plant

The staff is alarmed
Because the cooling is warmed
Where the weed has swarmed.

A gene engineer
Says the solution is near :
All soon will be clear.

Although convincing
He still cannot tame that thing
And start with cleansing.

With such a prospect
No one knows what to expect
And whom to respect.

---

A storm-loving whale
With its huge tail
Caused a gale
Of tremendous scale.

All sailors grew pale :
Nobody knows where to sail
To escape that whale.

---

Stretching my standards
I accept all kinds of arts
Not found in the charts.

But I hate the charts
Dumping sleaze on minds and hearts
They stink like the farts.

---

This is not a tale
About my monkey's lost tail -
It is on a snail.

Well, listen : That snail
Stole my beloved old pail
And was sent to jail.

Arriving in jail
He possessed a can of ale
Intended for sale.

But soon he grew pale
Learning that no kind of ale
Is allowed in jail.

With no possession
He fell in deep depression
With fast progression.

What about that tail ?
Well, it is another tale
As yet not for sale.


05 December 2011

11th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Our old vicious shrink
Prescribed me some nasty drink
Which caused me to shrink.

---

My brain cavity
Commits huge depravity :
Defies gravity.

---

A bull and a cow
Understandably made love
And now they feel low.

---

My hopeless love
Made strange
change
to my blood flow :
It is now
Too low.

---

When the west winds blow
My blood flow
Becomes too low
But my eyes still glow.

---

My fat
Cheeky cat
Refuses to catch the bat
Who usurped my hat :

She says he's her friend
And on him she does depend
Until this world's end.

---

I feel a bit sick
Hearing the sleazy music
That is so basic ...

---

My tormented soul
One day will certainly howl
In the devil's hole.

But it is too late
For me now to contemplate
Its upcoming fate.

---

My perfidious dog
Insulted me in his blog :
He writes I'm a hog.

Maybe I'll sue him
Because I'm not fat but thin
And always look trim.

---

The time of our life
Is quite full with foolish strife
For food or for wife -

No time to reflect
What we should rather neglect.
All must be perfect ...

---

A deceitful toad
Committed a money fraud
And vanished abroad.

His current dwelling
Remains still quite unknown thing
That is compelling.

---

An abusive whale
Keeps treading on my dog's tail
While all complaints fail.

She should be in jail
Where they will abuse her tail
Until she grows pale.

---

What will we squander
When all we deem as wonder
Is torn asunder ?

---

Why should we wonder
When nothing's left to squander
Let alone plunder ?

---

If mobility
Is badge of life's quality
What is sanity ?

---

A motherly hen
Abandoned her tidy pen
To marry a wren.

Although slick
And chic
He couldn't give her any chick
And it made her sick.

28 November 2011

10th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

When the markets grow
Thinking about tomorrow
I feel but sorrow.

Too much production
With the headless consumption
Lead to destruction.

The world can't sustain
Such a huge and useless strain
Without being slain.

Would not mild regress
Be better than wild progress
With its harmful stress ?

---

I saw a strange quark
Walking proudly in the park
Today after dark.

But I might be drunk
As I lost somewhere my trunk
And aroused a punk.

---

Our old artful goose
Got too much used to my booze
End even my shoes.

I will have to choose
Whether put her on the loose
Or tighten the noose.

---

Is it not a miracle
Still hearing the wild geese cackle
And not rather chuckle ?
---

Sometimes I wonder
If I don't belong yonder
Where all's but blunder.

---

Hot or cold fusion
Would be but poor solution
To air pollution.

---

If it be His will
I will tomorrow lay still
Unaware of chill.

No one should be sad
Or deem what happened as bad
After all - I'm mad.

---

A lark and a shark
Do nasty things after dark
In a hut of bark.

Their indecent creed
Throws a shame on the whole breed
As they aren't married.

---

The future is dark
Because our pretentious ark
Is of rotten bark.

---

A proud dinosaur
Achieved but low IQ score
And that made him sore.

To get improvement
He challenged the government
For its involvement.

---

I might be less sore
If I was a dinosaur ...
Or not - even more ?

---

An audacious boar
Summoned a young dinosaur
To reach the Earth core

To achieve the goal
With the help of a strong foal
They dug a huge hole.

With the coal in sight
They ended in a fierce fight
For hole copyright.

---

Damn prosperity
That leads to disparity -
Vivat austerity !

---

20 November 2011

9th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A young handy fox
Who lives in a seedy box
Got work in the docks.

He adjusts the clocks
Mends and oils the rusty locks
And washes the socks.

But he leaves the docks
As his wages led to shocks
- Now he trains hunt dogs.

---

As my inner fire
Cannot anymore inspire
It's time to expire.

---

An artful old shark
Wants to scare folks after dark
So he learns to bark.

But his lean body
And voice like Sam Peabody
Can scare nobody.

---

The soul of the man
Is not something you can scan
Or measure its span.

It's a mystery
That no one in history
Described in true story.

Ev'n its existence
Lacks proper evidence
Worth real confidence.

---


A bat and a cat
Consulted an artful rat
How to get rich and fat.

But the deceitful crook
Advised them to write a book
About Captain Cook.

But all history
Seems to them as strange story
Veiled in mystery.

So instead they write
About political right
And they get it right.

---

A young pretty witch
Invented a cheap spell-switch
And at once got rich.

---

Seeing this world's mess
My sick heart
Is torn apart
By its foul madness.

---

The whole history
Is only a bad story
Full of mystery.

---

If we could fly
At least like a bee or fly
We might by less sly.

---

A kindly devil
Plans to remove the evil
Caused by our free will.

That's why he designs
Free market and traffic signs
Death, taxes and fines.

---

A witch and a bitch
Who live in a dirty ditch
Would like to get rich.

The deft bitch can stitch
And the witch has perfect pitch
For any sort of kitsch.

But none of these skills
Would settle up their mounting bills
And it nearly kills.

At last the smart witch
Invents a handy spell-switch
Which must make them rich.

14 November 2011

8th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

When the dogs start to bark
I feel something grave and dark
Deep beneath my bark.

---

A moose and a goose
Found that it is but little use
In excessive booze.

They plan to abstain
And prefer water from rain
As it is so plain.

When this may come true
No one as yet has a clue :
It's the climate's due.

---

No reason to crave
Until you are put in grave :
It isn't even brave.

---

A cool-looking rat
Bought a jacket and a hat
To impress the cat.

It sparkled her anger
That led him to great danger
Ending in cliff-hanger.

He managed to hide
In a cave below the tide
To preserve his hide.

He lost his outfit
Which the cat in furious fit
Torn apart and bit.

---

No one with free will
Can prevent it from evil -
Maybe just devil ...

---

A bat and a cat
Thought it would be great to scat
While cleaning their vat.

Engaged by a rat
Who owns a jazz club called Hat
They sing and get fat.

---

This ant is nitwit'
To work in that stinky pit
- Where he can be hit [1]
- Where he can be split [2]
- When he's done a hit [3]
- When he isn't even fit [4]
- While he's such a hit [5]

(Pick up what you like
And suggest something alike
Or maybe unlike ...)

---

A bride and her groom
Didn't manage to jump the broom
So they fled in gloom.

Now in the bathroom
They practice with anoth'r broom
To reverse their doom.

---

In the times of boom
All the flowers bloom and bloom
Unaware of final doom.

---

My towering pride
Yesterday suddenly died
Leaving my mind fried.

---

An old timid mole
Climbed up the telephone pole
To escape a foal.

There he sits banished
Althoguh the danger vanished
With his pants tarnished.

---

The whole history
Of publishing his story
Outraged this tory.

He cries it's a shame
To disclose he is not tame
Playing certain game.

---


May humility
Be but abnormality
Or futility ?

---

A timid young skunk
Wanted to obtain more spunk
So he got dead drunk.

But in an old trunk
Where he had fall'n being drunk
Was no spunk but junk.

---

There's no need to cry
To be sad
Or even mad
On the day I die.

(I'm but Mr.Nobody
With a worthless sick body
dear to nobody.)

---

Shouldn't our crazy quest
To get better or ev'n best
be deemed as a pest ?

06 November 2011

7th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Because I'm no good
I might as well be of wood
To be understood.

---

Mister Nobody
Married Lady Somebody
To please his body.

Humble Miss Nobody
Married noble Lord Somebody
To get Newbody.

---

Is reality
But the God's depravity
or insanity ?

---

A dog and a hog
Walking across a big bog
Got lost in the fog.

To find their way out
From the stinky sticky cloud
They began to shout.

But in that vast plain
Every sound dies as if slain
So it was but vain.

To get a little heat
And prepare something to eat
They made fire of peat.

With no fear of fast
As their food supplies were vast
They thought : Let it last ...

And it indeed did :
Three days lat'r when the fog quit
They, drunk, didn't know it.

---

My horse is limping -
He took some nasty doping
Against his slurping.

---

A huge elephant
Asked a tiny wealthy ant
For a fiscal grant.

He'd like to research
Why the old majestic birch
Grows behind the church.

But it was refused :
The ant feared it might be used
For some drug abuse.

On his proposal
To do something more normal
They play basketball.

---

Might the proposal
To be at God's disposal
Cause some arousal ?

---


A mouse and her spouse
Desired to build a house
Far from the cat's claws.

They had little money
But by selling wild honey
Could buy a pony.

Being three, they made it
But the marriage got a hit
That led to its split.

The reason is next :
The mouse and the horse had sex
And left the third vexed.

---


A lark and a shark
Decided to disembark
Their old ark of bark.

To build a cabin
They stole ten nails in a bin
Ignorant of sin.

But soon were they caught
And, despite their wishful thought
Brought before the court.

Now they sit in jail :
One year for each stolen nail -
Thus your plans may fail ...

30 October 2011

6th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Although not needy
He is horribly greedy
And even seedy.

---

There is no need
To spread around this mad creed
Like some stinky seed.

---

If I were of wood
It might a little ease my mood
For being no good.

---

A little greedy crab
Living in a seedy cab
Hoards all he can grab.

Even an old tank
Neatly packed into a trunk
Belongs to his junk.

Overflowed with stuff
The cab is no more enough.
So his life gets tough.

---

There is a little grove
Where mushrooms and berries grow
Without any row ...

I would like to lie
In that place - after I die
Without any cry ...

---

A diligent fly
Intended to cook or fry
Some food getting dry.

For such a mission
She needed a permission
From Food Commission

When it was denied,
With nothing better in sight,
She opted for fight.

A goat and a toad
Helped her to block the main road
With their stinky load.

---

A moose and a goose
Convicted for drug abuse
Are now on the loose.

Changed right in the core
They are no junkies anymore
Nor feel any sore.

No shot and no pot :
Now they are drinking a lot -
Better don't ask what.

---

Please switch off your spell
That drove me to love's hell
Full of rosy smell.

---

A toad and a goat
Obtained a brand-new speed boat
For a shabby coat.

They sailed up the brook
But an old bold fishing rook
Caught them on his hook.

The boat was stranded
They didn't know how to mend it
So their trip ended.

After the old crook
Released the ship off his hook,
Sold it to a duke.

---

A dog and a hog
Having worked hard in a bog
Obtained a huge log.

It could not be split,
Nor, as it was so soaked, lit,
Nor could they sell it.

But for some broadcast
As a high antenna mast
Proved its use at last.

Having got license
They launched the TV BogSense
Broadcasting nonsense.

---

My grandfather's clock
Had to be put under lock :
Caused my mental block.

---

24 October 2011

5th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Alas, I'm no good
When required of being rude
To acquire some food

---
You really don't need
To be very slick or neat
To make both ends meet

---

No reason to curse
Your diligent long-time nurse
For loss of those furs.

---

Pray you, my good Lord,
Lend me a well-sharpened sword
Or just a thick cord.

---

Till the end of time
Just for a nickel or a dime
People'd commit crime.

---

Can intelligence
Together with diligence
Defeat negligence ?

---

His adversity
To every diversity
Is perversity

---

Please do not avert
From a poor humble pervert
- He tries to convert.

---

A fat ugly fly
Somehow got into my fly.
How to make it fly ?

---

A bull and a cow
Bought three arrows and a bow
To defend their grove.

But a vicious crow
Refuses to leave the grove
Where her offsprings grow.

So she steels the bow
And drops it into the grove
Where ? No one will know.

---
Arson and killing
For nothing but a shilling ...
Is it not chilling ?

---

How much evidence
Do you need for confidence
In your diligence ?

---

I may go insane
From that girl's red greasy mane
Although she's so vain.

---

Our upper layer
Hides no kind of fair player
But a fierce slayer.

---

When I was unable
To provide my horse a stable
He became unstable.

---

Gaining evidence
About God's intelligence
Requires diligence.

---

A rat and a cat
Decided to buy a flat
And abandon squat.

To make some money
They worked in a company
Producing honey.

When they conspired
With bees against being hired
At once were they fired.

In their current job
In the house of well-known snob
They entertain mob.

16 October 2011

4th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

What's the evidence
Of the Holy Providence ?
The pure confidence ?

Come on, kindly fire
Unleash powers to inspire
And purest desire !

Is strong confidence
A sign or an evidence
Of our providence ?

How fast the flashes
Of all yesterday's clashes
Perish in ashes ...

---

A huge elephant
Wanting to be elegant
Consults a little ant.

He would rather die
In a basin full of dye
Than wear any tie.

The tiny sleek ant
Means a tie is important
To impress one's aunt.

---

Our life consists
In a series of conflicts.
Hence, no peace exists.

My head's cavity
Defies the Earth gravity -
It's depravity.

When we all perish -
Men, women and also fish -
Who will wash the dish ?

When the skies turn dark
And all dogs begin to bark
I will disembark

Is intelligence
a special sort of negligence
Mixed with diligence ?

We ourselves are Hell
Full of devils and foul smell ...
What an evil spell !

A haiku a day
Can keep my madness at bay.
How long will it stay ?

Be always honest
Or you will foul your own nest !
- What about the rest ?

---

An audacious mole
Decided to dig a hole
Straight to the South Pole.

To fulfil the task
He obtained an old gas-mask
And gin in a flask.

But the need to test
If he indeed got the best
Put his plans to rest.

---

A moose and a goose
Wanted badly to recluse
In a hollow spruce.

But a nasty rat
Said that he won't allow that
Because it's his flat.

So they dug a hole
With a little help from a mole
And got rich on coal.

10 October 2011

3rd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... fervent evangelists ...

Ardent with desire
To awake and inspire
He jumped into fire.

... angry technophobes ...

Electric current
Like hasty nasty torrent
Hit my poor parent.

... hasty lovers ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

... negligent poets ...

I wrote a sonnet
On my aunt's maiden bonnet
It got lost on (.)Net ...

... wannabe fools ...

I am not yet mad
And it is not only bad
But also so sad.

...  generous mourners ...

Who wants to borrow
A bit of bitter sorrow
Until tomorrow ?

... blasphemous priests ...

Slowly we decay
And turn again into clay ...
Isn't it God's foul play ?

... non-neocon economists ...

Inequality
In everyday life's reality
Harms its quality.

... morbid existentialists ...

Is mortality
An inherent quality
Of fatality ?

... hormones-laden youngsters  ...

Love, love, loveless love ...
Why do they deem you so low ?
Can't people see your glow ?

... verses-peddling beggars ...

Can you spare a dime
For a foolish childish rhyme ?
Or is it a crime ?

... too curious youngsters  ...

Couldn't do worse than this :
To find out what the love is
I flew to Paris.

... innocent young men ...

Beware the poor girls
Who can drown you in the whirls
Of their golden curls.

... incompetent cooks ...

My mom really meant
But wasn't able to implement
This food supplement

... disgusted mortals ...

As I increment
This world's pile of excrement
My days decrement ...

... superstitious seniors ...

Some strange nasty curse
Stole all money from my purse
And bewitched my nurse.

... Once-honest bankers  ...

Once upon a time
I got a nick'l and a dime
Commiting no crime.

... Lazy lawn keepers ...

A bull & a cow
Almost perished in a row
Who today should mow

The weather is mild
And the grass is growing wild
It can hide their child.

(Is it not crazy
To be so dull and lazy
Even to graze it ?)

To get rid of it
They bribed a greedy rabbit
Ready to grab it.

... heroic hunters ...

A cheeky little ant
Summoned an old elephant
To go for a hunt.

Killing two sparrows
With a borrowed bow'n'arrows
They felt like heroes.

But then a fierce hare
Riding an old haggard mare
Turned their pride to scare.

... ardent anti-Hegelians ...

It's insanity
To argue that quantity
Turns to quality.

... depressed evangelists ...

I have no desire
To set this fat world on fire.
It's but bog and mire.

03 October 2011

1st bunch of funny statements, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...



... self-appointed psychiatrists ...

If humanity
Can't retain its sanity
It's but vanity.

---

... overzealous prophets ...

Please curb thy desire
To live and love and inspire
Lest thou may catch fire.

---

... heretical theologians ...

Devil is evil
While angel - his cousin - good.
Why, if they've free will ?

---

... self-proclaimed sages ...

Do you comprehend
The world that you apprehend,
Or you just pretend ?

---

... liberty-loving alcoholics ...

Nothing left to booze -
How to get out of the noose
And be on the loose ?

---

... ecological doomsayers ...

The brook is foamless
But its fish became boneless
And its snails homeless.

---

... hesitant life haters ...

I would disembark
This stinky leaky old ark
But I fear a shark.

---

.. self-indulgent losers ...

Hard'n'cold is the sky ...
You'd like something soft and warm ?
Well, don't look so high.

---

... depressed lovers ...

Any dizzy spell ?
Not a bit left, I'm afraid -
Just a funny smell.

---

... pensive jailbirds ...

Final conclusion
After years of seclusion :
Free will ? Illusion !

---

... inquisitive birdwatchers ...

Please take no offence
But does it make any sense
To sleep on a fence ?

---

... doubtful believers ...

Who can really tell
What is a real difference
Between heav'n and hell ?

---

... wanna-be winners ...

Strengthen thy body
so as to toughen thy mind
lest thou may seem kind.

---

... captured straycats ...

Thy life is kept safe
In a dusty musty file
Lest it become waif.

---

... unsatisfied sex addicts ...

A bull and a cow
Have funny sex wihout love -
Why don't we right now ?

---

... desperate mortals ...

My life will expire
With nobody to inspire -
Like a log in fire ...

---

... nature-loving dadaists ...

I love that sweet shark
In the pond of Old Town's park
Singing like a lark.

---

... angry youngsters ...

Some weird twist of fate
Threw me here a bit too late
To love without hate.

---

... anxious parents ...

When streets are copless
Mas of young guys are hopeless :
All girls are topless !

---

... uncautious gamekeepers ...

That old crazy moose
Somehow got out on the loose
And drank all our booze.

---

... too thoughtful thinkers ...

This comprehensive
World makes you apprehensive
but pretty pensive.

---

... faithful moralists ...

Free will is evil -
No one can use it for good.
Only the devil ...

---

... burnt-out prophets ...

I am but dead fire
With nothing left to inspire
Or ignite desire.

---

... investigative misanthropes ...

Is humanity
A sign of insanity
Or sheer vanity ?

---

2nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... overenthusiastic cooks ...

Where's that golden fish
Which can fulfil all you wish ?
Well - here : on the dish.

... too pushy therapists ...

Sorry, but I feel
No desire for any heal -
Please forgo your zeal.

... nasty prognosticators ...

If sound of thunder
Split the sick world asunder
No one should wonder.

... disgusting amphibians ...

A fat cheeky toad
Sits in the middle of the road
Releasing its load.

... narcissistic critcs ...

Right in the front row
Critics throw blows in a row
Who really can row.


... self-assured atheists ...

I've no confidence
In the Holy Providence :
It lacks evidence

... frustrated husbands ...

I'd at once get rich
If only could kill or ditch
My nasty old witch.

...  talkative biographers ...

To resume one's life
There is no need for much stuff
Six words must be enough.

... worried pet-lovers ...

My dog is not bad
Only sometimes he goes mad
And it makes me sad.

... dangerous cosmopolitans  ...

Give me one reason
Why should an act of treason
Destroy this Free Zone.

... ascetic eremites ...

I practise my creed
In a tiny hut of reed
With mind fully freed.

... pushy plant-growers ...

Don't you really need
This beatiful first-rate reed
For your pet as feed ?

... agressive mourners ...

Maybe tomorrow
I will drown my bad sorrow
In a wild sore row.


... reluctant believers ...

The God delusion
Is but silly conclusion
Of my confusion.

... avid proprietors ...

Hands off my privet -
It is completely private
And I can prove it !


... anxious atheists ...

The God delusion
Can have only conclusion :
Horrid confusion.

... uncautious consumers ...

A bull and a cow
Have bought a boat but can't row
"No more" : wow they - now.


... polite beggars ...

Sorry if I'm rude
But haven't you got any food
Thrown away for good ?

... bug-troubled jazzmen ...

Catch the mad hornet
That flew into your cornet
In my mom's bonnnet.

... sceptical scientists ...

Total confusion
Would be a mad conclusion
Of the cold fusion.