03 October 2011

1st bunch of funny statements, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...



... self-appointed psychiatrists ...

If humanity
Can't retain its sanity
It's but vanity.

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... overzealous prophets ...

Please curb thy desire
To live and love and inspire
Lest thou may catch fire.

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... heretical theologians ...

Devil is evil
While angel - his cousin - good.
Why, if they've free will ?

---

... self-proclaimed sages ...

Do you comprehend
The world that you apprehend,
Or you just pretend ?

---

... liberty-loving alcoholics ...

Nothing left to booze -
How to get out of the noose
And be on the loose ?

---

... ecological doomsayers ...

The brook is foamless
But its fish became boneless
And its snails homeless.

---

... hesitant life haters ...

I would disembark
This stinky leaky old ark
But I fear a shark.

---

.. self-indulgent losers ...

Hard'n'cold is the sky ...
You'd like something soft and warm ?
Well, don't look so high.

---

... depressed lovers ...

Any dizzy spell ?
Not a bit left, I'm afraid -
Just a funny smell.

---

... pensive jailbirds ...

Final conclusion
After years of seclusion :
Free will ? Illusion !

---

... inquisitive birdwatchers ...

Please take no offence
But does it make any sense
To sleep on a fence ?

---

... doubtful believers ...

Who can really tell
What is a real difference
Between heav'n and hell ?

---

... wanna-be winners ...

Strengthen thy body
so as to toughen thy mind
lest thou may seem kind.

---

... captured straycats ...

Thy life is kept safe
In a dusty musty file
Lest it become waif.

---

... unsatisfied sex addicts ...

A bull and a cow
Have funny sex wihout love -
Why don't we right now ?

---

... desperate mortals ...

My life will expire
With nobody to inspire -
Like a log in fire ...

---

... nature-loving dadaists ...

I love that sweet shark
In the pond of Old Town's park
Singing like a lark.

---

... angry youngsters ...

Some weird twist of fate
Threw me here a bit too late
To love without hate.

---

... anxious parents ...

When streets are copless
Mas of young guys are hopeless :
All girls are topless !

---

... uncautious gamekeepers ...

That old crazy moose
Somehow got out on the loose
And drank all our booze.

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... too thoughtful thinkers ...

This comprehensive
World makes you apprehensive
but pretty pensive.

---

... faithful moralists ...

Free will is evil -
No one can use it for good.
Only the devil ...

---

... burnt-out prophets ...

I am but dead fire
With nothing left to inspire
Or ignite desire.

---

... investigative misanthropes ...

Is humanity
A sign of insanity
Or sheer vanity ?

---

2nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... overenthusiastic cooks ...

Where's that golden fish
Which can fulfil all you wish ?
Well - here : on the dish.

... too pushy therapists ...

Sorry, but I feel
No desire for any heal -
Please forgo your zeal.

... nasty prognosticators ...

If sound of thunder
Split the sick world asunder
No one should wonder.

... disgusting amphibians ...

A fat cheeky toad
Sits in the middle of the road
Releasing its load.

... narcissistic critcs ...

Right in the front row
Critics throw blows in a row
Who really can row.


... self-assured atheists ...

I've no confidence
In the Holy Providence :
It lacks evidence

... frustrated husbands ...

I'd at once get rich
If only could kill or ditch
My nasty old witch.

...  talkative biographers ...

To resume one's life
There is no need for much stuff
Six words must be enough.

... worried pet-lovers ...

My dog is not bad
Only sometimes he goes mad
And it makes me sad.

... dangerous cosmopolitans  ...

Give me one reason
Why should an act of treason
Destroy this Free Zone.

... ascetic eremites ...

I practise my creed
In a tiny hut of reed
With mind fully freed.

... pushy plant-growers ...

Don't you really need
This beatiful first-rate reed
For your pet as feed ?

... agressive mourners ...

Maybe tomorrow
I will drown my bad sorrow
In a wild sore row.


... reluctant believers ...

The God delusion
Is but silly conclusion
Of my confusion.

... avid proprietors ...

Hands off my privet -
It is completely private
And I can prove it !


... anxious atheists ...

The God delusion
Can have only conclusion :
Horrid confusion.

... uncautious consumers ...

A bull and a cow
Have bought a boat but can't row
"No more" : wow they - now.


... polite beggars ...

Sorry if I'm rude
But haven't you got any food
Thrown away for good ?

... bug-troubled jazzmen ...

Catch the mad hornet
That flew into your cornet
In my mom's bonnnet.

... sceptical scientists ...

Total confusion
Would be a mad conclusion
Of the cold fusion.