26 December 2011

14th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

I hear my monkey wail
As he lost his pretty tail
Fighting with a snail.

My darling, don't wail
I will buy you a new tail
As well as a nail

To secure your tail
Against nasty wicked snail
Who crept to this tale.

---

The boat is sinking
With everyone singing
And no one thinking.

Is the fear to think
On anything
On the brink
Reason why they sing ?

---

An artful hornet
Wrote a pretty sonnet
On his new cornet.

He'll use the instrument
In his planned experiment
As a complement.

---

A confident baboon
Plans a mission to the Moon
In a rubber balloon.

For such a bold mission
He needs permission
From Space Comission.

The cheeky monkey
Will bribe the chairing donkey
And get the right key.

With right permission
The intended moon mission
Is ripe for ignition.

And it happened soon
On the twenty-firt of June
The day of new moon.

Balloon reached the peak
Of the hill
Called mount Bill
Where it got a leak.

As the cracked balloon
Would never reach the Earth's moon
Let down is baboon.

---

Is it not funny
That we no more have money
Even for honey ? ...

Oh, my dear bunny
Don't bother me with funny
Stuff about money.

Just get the honey
For me and my little Fanny
And forget money.

---

Is our Creator
Just a Crime Perpetuator
Or Great Curator ?

No one ever knows
Better ask the future snows
If they mind wind's blows ...

---

A tiny spoiled snake
Makes a fuss about his cake
Wailing it's but fake.

The fussy reptile
Moans it may come out of style
In just a little while.

Look here, my sweet snake
If you do not like your cake
Drown with it in lake !

---

I may be but fake
Created by strange mistake
Touched with devil's rake ...

Or maybe some quake
Caused a huge powerful wake
Which gave me a shake ...

How long may it take
For God to fix His mistake
And wipe out such fake ?

---

A cake from Little Lake
With a snake from Bigger Lake
Stole my dear oat flake.

It was as if quake
Created some destructive wake
Which made me to shake.

Investigations
Didn't lead to proper actions
Only constructions.

Without my sweet flake
There is no measure to take
But drown in a lake ...

---

Don't investigate
Whar disease does propagate
From the devil's gate.

Such a foolish action
May lead to your destruction
By fierce reaction.

Better meditate
And bring your mind to calm state
Unaware of hate.

---

An old blind lemon
With a young pretty demon
Sermon
On
Mammon.

They fiercely campaign
'gainst the hypermarket chain
That causes but strain.

Instead they propose
Such things that it oppose
What ? Try to suppose ...

(Not a creature slain
Only growth that can sustain ...
Go on without pain ...)

---

Can you smell the rat ?
Every day he gets more fat
While budgets are cut

He doesn't live in squat
Nor some shabby social flat -
Far away from that !

Never to Walmart
Does he bring his credit card
For him it's but fart.

To give him a start
And tear his world all apart
Would be pretty smart.

---

Mammon Almighty
Don't lead me to poverty
That is so dirty

Make me enough rich
Not to live in shabby ditch
With some ugly witch

Give me 'nough money
To make my dull life funny
With some sweet bunny

---

I pity the fool
Who, thick-headed as a mule
Will never get cool.

Sitting at his school
He nev'r lifts his ass from stool
Not to break some rule.

Swimming in the pool
He plays
Always
By the rule ...
Like that beast with wool.

I can't stand the fool
I must one day steel his stool
To make him once cool.

19 December 2011

13th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A frost-hating weed
Obtained for all of her breed
Neat coats made of tweed.

The winter indeed
Could freeze reed as well as weed
With tremendous speed.

But there is no need
To worry about the weed
Protected by tweed.

---
My picky parrot
Doesn't eat privet or carrot
He says it's but rot.

He eats fatty pork
And overdone roasted stork
With his rusty fork

I say he shouldn't eat
So much fat and salty meat
But he thinks I cheat.

---

No resurrection
Can bring our lives correction
To reach perfection.

But true affection
Despite its imperfection
Doesn't cause objection.

Without affection
There is no real corection
To our impetfection.

---

All this filth and sleaze
Can become with shocking ease
Our deadly disease.

So we must increase
Our effort to kill that sleaze
Or we as well cease.

---

A wicked baboon
Stole my father's silver spoon
Which caused him to swoon.

That cheeky monkey
Has stolen as well my home key
And escaped on donkey.

Please catch the baboon
To get back both key and spoon
Yet this afternoon.

---

When it is my turn
For the tour without return
Probably to burn

Why should I regret
That I don't know the secret
Of divine thought-thread ?

---

Once in a blue moon
I meet a crazy little loon
Late in the afternoon

Her husband baboon
Says she pretty likes to croon
For a dime's worth spoon.

So just for a spoon
I can listen  to her croon
Until I may swoon.

---

Though not at all brave
I don't like to be a slave
It's freedom I crave.

Please find me a cave
Where I could build my enclave
Free of any slave.

---

A small humble triangle
With no right or obtuse angle
Approached a rectangle.

He asked the quadrangle
To sell him a side and angle
(Thus turn to triangle).

But no decent rectangle
Would sell any side or angle
To circle or triangle.

---

A tiny humble sine
Worked with a big proud cosine
On a road decline

But seeing no sign
How to grow towards cosine
He left for coal mine.

Because no cosine
Can work without its humble sine
It flattened decline.

---

Human perception
Results in misconception
If not deception.

Don't trust your senses
Because within their fences
Truth has few chances.

---

A talkative circle
Maintains that his uncle
Could make a miracle :

That he can encircle
A shellfish or a barnacle
To produce carbuncle

But I think no circle
Can make a solid miracle
Without an oracle.

---

I feel as if shrunk
Every time I lie dead drunk
Somewhere in the trunk.

But my doctor said
That what is shrunk
When I'm drunk
Is brain in my head.

I think it's good news
As I can't find any use
For brain when I booze.

---

A young pretty snail
Received a suspicious mail
Offering a pail

Though she needs no pail
But a hammer and a nail
To secure her veil.

With no secure veil
Her quest to marry a whale
Would probably fail.

---

What personality
Could turn us to sanity
Of life's quality ?

(As if quantity
Could replace its quality ...
What insanity !)

---

I wishfully think
That if I enough drink and drink
All my troubles may shrink

Although my old shrink
Means that no amount of drink
Makes any trouble shrink.

Despite that I drink
And bring
Sanity
To brink
Though my troubles don't shrink ...

---

My conclusion
Aft'r years of disillusion :
Long live reclusion !

No more inclusions
Leading to false illusions
And bad solutions ...

---

12 December 2011

12th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Is indeed devil
The source of all that's evil
Or is it Lord's will ?

Humans are evil
More or less like the devil -
Is it our God's will ?

If indeed devil
Is product of Goodness' will
Why is he evil ?

---

Put aside
Your pride
And give you mind a free ride
To the other side.

---

Huck the famous hound
Having finished his twelfth round
Left us graveward bound.

---

Our old cucumber
Quite likes her SS number
That makes her slumber

But a wise cabbage
Told her that it is garbage
Discording Babbage.

It left her confused :
Should SSN be refused
And other thing used ?

Or is cabbage wrong
And SSNs are 'nough strong
To remain for long ?

---

Are we not sinking
Deep into wishful thinking
With our minds shrinking ?

---

Why am I so tired ?
Because I was wrongly wired
When devil conspired ?

---

A cheeky carrot
Boasted before our parrot
She can dance fox-trot

"Well" - said the parrot
"Most probably you will rot
And not dance fox-trot."

Hurt deep in her pride
Secretly she moaned and cried
After all - he's right ...

---

Does the history
Preserve mankind's memory
As a true story ?

I do not think so
For nothing I heard or saw
Abides such a law.

---

An ancient partridge
Says he once worked in Oak Ridge
Where he built a bridge.

But a wren from wire
Chirps he set the bridge on fire
And vanished in mire.

Who's wrong and who's right ?
The answer is not in sight -
If you know it, write.

---

Despite the fashion
Do not join the discussion
On world's recession :

It is but nonsense
Lacking any feel or sense
Of people's offense.

---

A plump overripe plum
Leaves for good the nasty slum
Which made her feel glum.

She has bought a house
For money from her late spouse
Eaten by a mouse.

But ev'n out of slum
Because being just a plum.
She still feels so glum ...

---

Will human nature
One day become more mature
To save its culture ?

---

Some new unknown plant
Quickly occupies the land
In huge power plant

The staff is alarmed
Because the cooling is warmed
Where the weed has swarmed.

A gene engineer
Says the solution is near :
All soon will be clear.

Although convincing
He still cannot tame that thing
And start with cleansing.

With such a prospect
No one knows what to expect
And whom to respect.

---

A storm-loving whale
With its huge tail
Caused a gale
Of tremendous scale.

All sailors grew pale :
Nobody knows where to sail
To escape that whale.

---

Stretching my standards
I accept all kinds of arts
Not found in the charts.

But I hate the charts
Dumping sleaze on minds and hearts
They stink like the farts.

---

This is not a tale
About my monkey's lost tail -
It is on a snail.

Well, listen : That snail
Stole my beloved old pail
And was sent to jail.

Arriving in jail
He possessed a can of ale
Intended for sale.

But soon he grew pale
Learning that no kind of ale
Is allowed in jail.

With no possession
He fell in deep depression
With fast progression.

What about that tail ?
Well, it is another tale
As yet not for sale.


05 December 2011

11th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Our old vicious shrink
Prescribed me some nasty drink
Which caused me to shrink.

---

My brain cavity
Commits huge depravity :
Defies gravity.

---

A bull and a cow
Understandably made love
And now they feel low.

---

My hopeless love
Made strange
change
to my blood flow :
It is now
Too low.

---

When the west winds blow
My blood flow
Becomes too low
But my eyes still glow.

---

My fat
Cheeky cat
Refuses to catch the bat
Who usurped my hat :

She says he's her friend
And on him she does depend
Until this world's end.

---

I feel a bit sick
Hearing the sleazy music
That is so basic ...

---

My tormented soul
One day will certainly howl
In the devil's hole.

But it is too late
For me now to contemplate
Its upcoming fate.

---

My perfidious dog
Insulted me in his blog :
He writes I'm a hog.

Maybe I'll sue him
Because I'm not fat but thin
And always look trim.

---

The time of our life
Is quite full with foolish strife
For food or for wife -

No time to reflect
What we should rather neglect.
All must be perfect ...

---

A deceitful toad
Committed a money fraud
And vanished abroad.

His current dwelling
Remains still quite unknown thing
That is compelling.

---

An abusive whale
Keeps treading on my dog's tail
While all complaints fail.

She should be in jail
Where they will abuse her tail
Until she grows pale.

---

What will we squander
When all we deem as wonder
Is torn asunder ?

---

Why should we wonder
When nothing's left to squander
Let alone plunder ?

---

If mobility
Is badge of life's quality
What is sanity ?

---

A motherly hen
Abandoned her tidy pen
To marry a wren.

Although slick
And chic
He couldn't give her any chick
And it made her sick.

28 November 2011

10th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

When the markets grow
Thinking about tomorrow
I feel but sorrow.

Too much production
With the headless consumption
Lead to destruction.

The world can't sustain
Such a huge and useless strain
Without being slain.

Would not mild regress
Be better than wild progress
With its harmful stress ?

---

I saw a strange quark
Walking proudly in the park
Today after dark.

But I might be drunk
As I lost somewhere my trunk
And aroused a punk.

---

Our old artful goose
Got too much used to my booze
End even my shoes.

I will have to choose
Whether put her on the loose
Or tighten the noose.

---

Is it not a miracle
Still hearing the wild geese cackle
And not rather chuckle ?
---

Sometimes I wonder
If I don't belong yonder
Where all's but blunder.

---

Hot or cold fusion
Would be but poor solution
To air pollution.

---

If it be His will
I will tomorrow lay still
Unaware of chill.

No one should be sad
Or deem what happened as bad
After all - I'm mad.

---

A lark and a shark
Do nasty things after dark
In a hut of bark.

Their indecent creed
Throws a shame on the whole breed
As they aren't married.

---

The future is dark
Because our pretentious ark
Is of rotten bark.

---

A proud dinosaur
Achieved but low IQ score
And that made him sore.

To get improvement
He challenged the government
For its involvement.

---

I might be less sore
If I was a dinosaur ...
Or not - even more ?

---

An audacious boar
Summoned a young dinosaur
To reach the Earth core

To achieve the goal
With the help of a strong foal
They dug a huge hole.

With the coal in sight
They ended in a fierce fight
For hole copyright.

---

Damn prosperity
That leads to disparity -
Vivat austerity !

---

20 November 2011

9th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A young handy fox
Who lives in a seedy box
Got work in the docks.

He adjusts the clocks
Mends and oils the rusty locks
And washes the socks.

But he leaves the docks
As his wages led to shocks
- Now he trains hunt dogs.

---

As my inner fire
Cannot anymore inspire
It's time to expire.

---

An artful old shark
Wants to scare folks after dark
So he learns to bark.

But his lean body
And voice like Sam Peabody
Can scare nobody.

---

The soul of the man
Is not something you can scan
Or measure its span.

It's a mystery
That no one in history
Described in true story.

Ev'n its existence
Lacks proper evidence
Worth real confidence.

---


A bat and a cat
Consulted an artful rat
How to get rich and fat.

But the deceitful crook
Advised them to write a book
About Captain Cook.

But all history
Seems to them as strange story
Veiled in mystery.

So instead they write
About political right
And they get it right.

---

A young pretty witch
Invented a cheap spell-switch
And at once got rich.

---

Seeing this world's mess
My sick heart
Is torn apart
By its foul madness.

---

The whole history
Is only a bad story
Full of mystery.

---

If we could fly
At least like a bee or fly
We might by less sly.

---

A kindly devil
Plans to remove the evil
Caused by our free will.

That's why he designs
Free market and traffic signs
Death, taxes and fines.

---

A witch and a bitch
Who live in a dirty ditch
Would like to get rich.

The deft bitch can stitch
And the witch has perfect pitch
For any sort of kitsch.

But none of these skills
Would settle up their mounting bills
And it nearly kills.

At last the smart witch
Invents a handy spell-switch
Which must make them rich.

14 November 2011

8th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

When the dogs start to bark
I feel something grave and dark
Deep beneath my bark.

---

A moose and a goose
Found that it is but little use
In excessive booze.

They plan to abstain
And prefer water from rain
As it is so plain.

When this may come true
No one as yet has a clue :
It's the climate's due.

---

No reason to crave
Until you are put in grave :
It isn't even brave.

---

A cool-looking rat
Bought a jacket and a hat
To impress the cat.

It sparkled her anger
That led him to great danger
Ending in cliff-hanger.

He managed to hide
In a cave below the tide
To preserve his hide.

He lost his outfit
Which the cat in furious fit
Torn apart and bit.

---

No one with free will
Can prevent it from evil -
Maybe just devil ...

---

A bat and a cat
Thought it would be great to scat
While cleaning their vat.

Engaged by a rat
Who owns a jazz club called Hat
They sing and get fat.

---

This ant is nitwit'
To work in that stinky pit
- Where he can be hit [1]
- Where he can be split [2]
- When he's done a hit [3]
- When he isn't even fit [4]
- While he's such a hit [5]

(Pick up what you like
And suggest something alike
Or maybe unlike ...)

---

A bride and her groom
Didn't manage to jump the broom
So they fled in gloom.

Now in the bathroom
They practice with anoth'r broom
To reverse their doom.

---

In the times of boom
All the flowers bloom and bloom
Unaware of final doom.

---

My towering pride
Yesterday suddenly died
Leaving my mind fried.

---

An old timid mole
Climbed up the telephone pole
To escape a foal.

There he sits banished
Althoguh the danger vanished
With his pants tarnished.

---

The whole history
Of publishing his story
Outraged this tory.

He cries it's a shame
To disclose he is not tame
Playing certain game.

---


May humility
Be but abnormality
Or futility ?

---

A timid young skunk
Wanted to obtain more spunk
So he got dead drunk.

But in an old trunk
Where he had fall'n being drunk
Was no spunk but junk.

---

There's no need to cry
To be sad
Or even mad
On the day I die.

(I'm but Mr.Nobody
With a worthless sick body
dear to nobody.)

---

Shouldn't our crazy quest
To get better or ev'n best
be deemed as a pest ?

06 November 2011

7th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Because I'm no good
I might as well be of wood
To be understood.

---

Mister Nobody
Married Lady Somebody
To please his body.

Humble Miss Nobody
Married noble Lord Somebody
To get Newbody.

---

Is reality
But the God's depravity
or insanity ?

---

A dog and a hog
Walking across a big bog
Got lost in the fog.

To find their way out
From the stinky sticky cloud
They began to shout.

But in that vast plain
Every sound dies as if slain
So it was but vain.

To get a little heat
And prepare something to eat
They made fire of peat.

With no fear of fast
As their food supplies were vast
They thought : Let it last ...

And it indeed did :
Three days lat'r when the fog quit
They, drunk, didn't know it.

---

My horse is limping -
He took some nasty doping
Against his slurping.

---

A huge elephant
Asked a tiny wealthy ant
For a fiscal grant.

He'd like to research
Why the old majestic birch
Grows behind the church.

But it was refused :
The ant feared it might be used
For some drug abuse.

On his proposal
To do something more normal
They play basketball.

---

Might the proposal
To be at God's disposal
Cause some arousal ?

---


A mouse and her spouse
Desired to build a house
Far from the cat's claws.

They had little money
But by selling wild honey
Could buy a pony.

Being three, they made it
But the marriage got a hit
That led to its split.

The reason is next :
The mouse and the horse had sex
And left the third vexed.

---


A lark and a shark
Decided to disembark
Their old ark of bark.

To build a cabin
They stole ten nails in a bin
Ignorant of sin.

But soon were they caught
And, despite their wishful thought
Brought before the court.

Now they sit in jail :
One year for each stolen nail -
Thus your plans may fail ...

30 October 2011

6th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Although not needy
He is horribly greedy
And even seedy.

---

There is no need
To spread around this mad creed
Like some stinky seed.

---

If I were of wood
It might a little ease my mood
For being no good.

---

A little greedy crab
Living in a seedy cab
Hoards all he can grab.

Even an old tank
Neatly packed into a trunk
Belongs to his junk.

Overflowed with stuff
The cab is no more enough.
So his life gets tough.

---

There is a little grove
Where mushrooms and berries grow
Without any row ...

I would like to lie
In that place - after I die
Without any cry ...

---

A diligent fly
Intended to cook or fry
Some food getting dry.

For such a mission
She needed a permission
From Food Commission

When it was denied,
With nothing better in sight,
She opted for fight.

A goat and a toad
Helped her to block the main road
With their stinky load.

---

A moose and a goose
Convicted for drug abuse
Are now on the loose.

Changed right in the core
They are no junkies anymore
Nor feel any sore.

No shot and no pot :
Now they are drinking a lot -
Better don't ask what.

---

Please switch off your spell
That drove me to love's hell
Full of rosy smell.

---

A toad and a goat
Obtained a brand-new speed boat
For a shabby coat.

They sailed up the brook
But an old bold fishing rook
Caught them on his hook.

The boat was stranded
They didn't know how to mend it
So their trip ended.

After the old crook
Released the ship off his hook,
Sold it to a duke.

---

A dog and a hog
Having worked hard in a bog
Obtained a huge log.

It could not be split,
Nor, as it was so soaked, lit,
Nor could they sell it.

But for some broadcast
As a high antenna mast
Proved its use at last.

Having got license
They launched the TV BogSense
Broadcasting nonsense.

---

My grandfather's clock
Had to be put under lock :
Caused my mental block.

---

24 October 2011

5th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Alas, I'm no good
When required of being rude
To acquire some food

---
You really don't need
To be very slick or neat
To make both ends meet

---

No reason to curse
Your diligent long-time nurse
For loss of those furs.

---

Pray you, my good Lord,
Lend me a well-sharpened sword
Or just a thick cord.

---

Till the end of time
Just for a nickel or a dime
People'd commit crime.

---

Can intelligence
Together with diligence
Defeat negligence ?

---

His adversity
To every diversity
Is perversity

---

Please do not avert
From a poor humble pervert
- He tries to convert.

---

A fat ugly fly
Somehow got into my fly.
How to make it fly ?

---

A bull and a cow
Bought three arrows and a bow
To defend their grove.

But a vicious crow
Refuses to leave the grove
Where her offsprings grow.

So she steels the bow
And drops it into the grove
Where ? No one will know.

---
Arson and killing
For nothing but a shilling ...
Is it not chilling ?

---

How much evidence
Do you need for confidence
In your diligence ?

---

I may go insane
From that girl's red greasy mane
Although she's so vain.

---

Our upper layer
Hides no kind of fair player
But a fierce slayer.

---

When I was unable
To provide my horse a stable
He became unstable.

---

Gaining evidence
About God's intelligence
Requires diligence.

---

A rat and a cat
Decided to buy a flat
And abandon squat.

To make some money
They worked in a company
Producing honey.

When they conspired
With bees against being hired
At once were they fired.

In their current job
In the house of well-known snob
They entertain mob.

16 October 2011

4th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

What's the evidence
Of the Holy Providence ?
The pure confidence ?

Come on, kindly fire
Unleash powers to inspire
And purest desire !

Is strong confidence
A sign or an evidence
Of our providence ?

How fast the flashes
Of all yesterday's clashes
Perish in ashes ...

---

A huge elephant
Wanting to be elegant
Consults a little ant.

He would rather die
In a basin full of dye
Than wear any tie.

The tiny sleek ant
Means a tie is important
To impress one's aunt.

---

Our life consists
In a series of conflicts.
Hence, no peace exists.

My head's cavity
Defies the Earth gravity -
It's depravity.

When we all perish -
Men, women and also fish -
Who will wash the dish ?

When the skies turn dark
And all dogs begin to bark
I will disembark

Is intelligence
a special sort of negligence
Mixed with diligence ?

We ourselves are Hell
Full of devils and foul smell ...
What an evil spell !

A haiku a day
Can keep my madness at bay.
How long will it stay ?

Be always honest
Or you will foul your own nest !
- What about the rest ?

---

An audacious mole
Decided to dig a hole
Straight to the South Pole.

To fulfil the task
He obtained an old gas-mask
And gin in a flask.

But the need to test
If he indeed got the best
Put his plans to rest.

---

A moose and a goose
Wanted badly to recluse
In a hollow spruce.

But a nasty rat
Said that he won't allow that
Because it's his flat.

So they dug a hole
With a little help from a mole
And got rich on coal.

10 October 2011

3rd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... fervent evangelists ...

Ardent with desire
To awake and inspire
He jumped into fire.

... angry technophobes ...

Electric current
Like hasty nasty torrent
Hit my poor parent.

... hasty lovers ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

... negligent poets ...

I wrote a sonnet
On my aunt's maiden bonnet
It got lost on (.)Net ...

... wannabe fools ...

I am not yet mad
And it is not only bad
But also so sad.

...  generous mourners ...

Who wants to borrow
A bit of bitter sorrow
Until tomorrow ?

... blasphemous priests ...

Slowly we decay
And turn again into clay ...
Isn't it God's foul play ?

... non-neocon economists ...

Inequality
In everyday life's reality
Harms its quality.

... morbid existentialists ...

Is mortality
An inherent quality
Of fatality ?

... hormones-laden youngsters  ...

Love, love, loveless love ...
Why do they deem you so low ?
Can't people see your glow ?

... verses-peddling beggars ...

Can you spare a dime
For a foolish childish rhyme ?
Or is it a crime ?

... too curious youngsters  ...

Couldn't do worse than this :
To find out what the love is
I flew to Paris.

... innocent young men ...

Beware the poor girls
Who can drown you in the whirls
Of their golden curls.

... incompetent cooks ...

My mom really meant
But wasn't able to implement
This food supplement

... disgusted mortals ...

As I increment
This world's pile of excrement
My days decrement ...

... superstitious seniors ...

Some strange nasty curse
Stole all money from my purse
And bewitched my nurse.

... Once-honest bankers  ...

Once upon a time
I got a nick'l and a dime
Commiting no crime.

... Lazy lawn keepers ...

A bull & a cow
Almost perished in a row
Who today should mow

The weather is mild
And the grass is growing wild
It can hide their child.

(Is it not crazy
To be so dull and lazy
Even to graze it ?)

To get rid of it
They bribed a greedy rabbit
Ready to grab it.

... heroic hunters ...

A cheeky little ant
Summoned an old elephant
To go for a hunt.

Killing two sparrows
With a borrowed bow'n'arrows
They felt like heroes.

But then a fierce hare
Riding an old haggard mare
Turned their pride to scare.

... ardent anti-Hegelians ...

It's insanity
To argue that quantity
Turns to quality.

... depressed evangelists ...

I have no desire
To set this fat world on fire.
It's but bog and mire.

03 October 2011

1st bunch of funny statements, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...



... self-appointed psychiatrists ...

If humanity
Can't retain its sanity
It's but vanity.

---

... overzealous prophets ...

Please curb thy desire
To live and love and inspire
Lest thou may catch fire.

---

... heretical theologians ...

Devil is evil
While angel - his cousin - good.
Why, if they've free will ?

---

... self-proclaimed sages ...

Do you comprehend
The world that you apprehend,
Or you just pretend ?

---

... liberty-loving alcoholics ...

Nothing left to booze -
How to get out of the noose
And be on the loose ?

---

... ecological doomsayers ...

The brook is foamless
But its fish became boneless
And its snails homeless.

---

... hesitant life haters ...

I would disembark
This stinky leaky old ark
But I fear a shark.

---

.. self-indulgent losers ...

Hard'n'cold is the sky ...
You'd like something soft and warm ?
Well, don't look so high.

---

... depressed lovers ...

Any dizzy spell ?
Not a bit left, I'm afraid -
Just a funny smell.

---

... pensive jailbirds ...

Final conclusion
After years of seclusion :
Free will ? Illusion !

---

... inquisitive birdwatchers ...

Please take no offence
But does it make any sense
To sleep on a fence ?

---

... doubtful believers ...

Who can really tell
What is a real difference
Between heav'n and hell ?

---

... wanna-be winners ...

Strengthen thy body
so as to toughen thy mind
lest thou may seem kind.

---

... captured straycats ...

Thy life is kept safe
In a dusty musty file
Lest it become waif.

---

... unsatisfied sex addicts ...

A bull and a cow
Have funny sex wihout love -
Why don't we right now ?

---

... desperate mortals ...

My life will expire
With nobody to inspire -
Like a log in fire ...

---

... nature-loving dadaists ...

I love that sweet shark
In the pond of Old Town's park
Singing like a lark.

---

... angry youngsters ...

Some weird twist of fate
Threw me here a bit too late
To love without hate.

---

... anxious parents ...

When streets are copless
Mas of young guys are hopeless :
All girls are topless !

---

... uncautious gamekeepers ...

That old crazy moose
Somehow got out on the loose
And drank all our booze.

---

... too thoughtful thinkers ...

This comprehensive
World makes you apprehensive
but pretty pensive.

---

... faithful moralists ...

Free will is evil -
No one can use it for good.
Only the devil ...

---

... burnt-out prophets ...

I am but dead fire
With nothing left to inspire
Or ignite desire.

---

... investigative misanthropes ...

Is humanity
A sign of insanity
Or sheer vanity ?

---

2nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... overenthusiastic cooks ...

Where's that golden fish
Which can fulfil all you wish ?
Well - here : on the dish.

... too pushy therapists ...

Sorry, but I feel
No desire for any heal -
Please forgo your zeal.

... nasty prognosticators ...

If sound of thunder
Split the sick world asunder
No one should wonder.

... disgusting amphibians ...

A fat cheeky toad
Sits in the middle of the road
Releasing its load.

... narcissistic critcs ...

Right in the front row
Critics throw blows in a row
Who really can row.


... self-assured atheists ...

I've no confidence
In the Holy Providence :
It lacks evidence

... frustrated husbands ...

I'd at once get rich
If only could kill or ditch
My nasty old witch.

...  talkative biographers ...

To resume one's life
There is no need for much stuff
Six words must be enough.

... worried pet-lovers ...

My dog is not bad
Only sometimes he goes mad
And it makes me sad.

... dangerous cosmopolitans  ...

Give me one reason
Why should an act of treason
Destroy this Free Zone.

... ascetic eremites ...

I practise my creed
In a tiny hut of reed
With mind fully freed.

... pushy plant-growers ...

Don't you really need
This beatiful first-rate reed
For your pet as feed ?

... agressive mourners ...

Maybe tomorrow
I will drown my bad sorrow
In a wild sore row.


... reluctant believers ...

The God delusion
Is but silly conclusion
Of my confusion.

... avid proprietors ...

Hands off my privet -
It is completely private
And I can prove it !


... anxious atheists ...

The God delusion
Can have only conclusion :
Horrid confusion.

... uncautious consumers ...

A bull and a cow
Have bought a boat but can't row
"No more" : wow they - now.


... polite beggars ...

Sorry if I'm rude
But haven't you got any food
Thrown away for good ?

... bug-troubled jazzmen ...

Catch the mad hornet
That flew into your cornet
In my mom's bonnnet.

... sceptical scientists ...

Total confusion
Would be a mad conclusion
Of the cold fusion.