30 October 2011

6th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Although not needy
He is horribly greedy
And even seedy.

---

There is no need
To spread around this mad creed
Like some stinky seed.

---

If I were of wood
It might a little ease my mood
For being no good.

---

A little greedy crab
Living in a seedy cab
Hoards all he can grab.

Even an old tank
Neatly packed into a trunk
Belongs to his junk.

Overflowed with stuff
The cab is no more enough.
So his life gets tough.

---

There is a little grove
Where mushrooms and berries grow
Without any row ...

I would like to lie
In that place - after I die
Without any cry ...

---

A diligent fly
Intended to cook or fry
Some food getting dry.

For such a mission
She needed a permission
From Food Commission

When it was denied,
With nothing better in sight,
She opted for fight.

A goat and a toad
Helped her to block the main road
With their stinky load.

---

A moose and a goose
Convicted for drug abuse
Are now on the loose.

Changed right in the core
They are no junkies anymore
Nor feel any sore.

No shot and no pot :
Now they are drinking a lot -
Better don't ask what.

---

Please switch off your spell
That drove me to love's hell
Full of rosy smell.

---

A toad and a goat
Obtained a brand-new speed boat
For a shabby coat.

They sailed up the brook
But an old bold fishing rook
Caught them on his hook.

The boat was stranded
They didn't know how to mend it
So their trip ended.

After the old crook
Released the ship off his hook,
Sold it to a duke.

---

A dog and a hog
Having worked hard in a bog
Obtained a huge log.

It could not be split,
Nor, as it was so soaked, lit,
Nor could they sell it.

But for some broadcast
As a high antenna mast
Proved its use at last.

Having got license
They launched the TV BogSense
Broadcasting nonsense.

---

My grandfather's clock
Had to be put under lock :
Caused my mental block.

---

24 October 2011

5th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


Alas, I'm no good
When required of being rude
To acquire some food

---
You really don't need
To be very slick or neat
To make both ends meet

---

No reason to curse
Your diligent long-time nurse
For loss of those furs.

---

Pray you, my good Lord,
Lend me a well-sharpened sword
Or just a thick cord.

---

Till the end of time
Just for a nickel or a dime
People'd commit crime.

---

Can intelligence
Together with diligence
Defeat negligence ?

---

His adversity
To every diversity
Is perversity

---

Please do not avert
From a poor humble pervert
- He tries to convert.

---

A fat ugly fly
Somehow got into my fly.
How to make it fly ?

---

A bull and a cow
Bought three arrows and a bow
To defend their grove.

But a vicious crow
Refuses to leave the grove
Where her offsprings grow.

So she steels the bow
And drops it into the grove
Where ? No one will know.

---
Arson and killing
For nothing but a shilling ...
Is it not chilling ?

---

How much evidence
Do you need for confidence
In your diligence ?

---

I may go insane
From that girl's red greasy mane
Although she's so vain.

---

Our upper layer
Hides no kind of fair player
But a fierce slayer.

---

When I was unable
To provide my horse a stable
He became unstable.

---

Gaining evidence
About God's intelligence
Requires diligence.

---

A rat and a cat
Decided to buy a flat
And abandon squat.

To make some money
They worked in a company
Producing honey.

When they conspired
With bees against being hired
At once were they fired.

In their current job
In the house of well-known snob
They entertain mob.

16 October 2011

4th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

What's the evidence
Of the Holy Providence ?
The pure confidence ?

Come on, kindly fire
Unleash powers to inspire
And purest desire !

Is strong confidence
A sign or an evidence
Of our providence ?

How fast the flashes
Of all yesterday's clashes
Perish in ashes ...

---

A huge elephant
Wanting to be elegant
Consults a little ant.

He would rather die
In a basin full of dye
Than wear any tie.

The tiny sleek ant
Means a tie is important
To impress one's aunt.

---

Our life consists
In a series of conflicts.
Hence, no peace exists.

My head's cavity
Defies the Earth gravity -
It's depravity.

When we all perish -
Men, women and also fish -
Who will wash the dish ?

When the skies turn dark
And all dogs begin to bark
I will disembark

Is intelligence
a special sort of negligence
Mixed with diligence ?

We ourselves are Hell
Full of devils and foul smell ...
What an evil spell !

A haiku a day
Can keep my madness at bay.
How long will it stay ?

Be always honest
Or you will foul your own nest !
- What about the rest ?

---

An audacious mole
Decided to dig a hole
Straight to the South Pole.

To fulfil the task
He obtained an old gas-mask
And gin in a flask.

But the need to test
If he indeed got the best
Put his plans to rest.

---

A moose and a goose
Wanted badly to recluse
In a hollow spruce.

But a nasty rat
Said that he won't allow that
Because it's his flat.

So they dug a hole
With a little help from a mole
And got rich on coal.

10 October 2011

3rd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... fervent evangelists ...

Ardent with desire
To awake and inspire
He jumped into fire.

... angry technophobes ...

Electric current
Like hasty nasty torrent
Hit my poor parent.

... hasty lovers ...

You needn't be breathless
That girl is indeed reckless
But also breastless.

... negligent poets ...

I wrote a sonnet
On my aunt's maiden bonnet
It got lost on (.)Net ...

... wannabe fools ...

I am not yet mad
And it is not only bad
But also so sad.

...  generous mourners ...

Who wants to borrow
A bit of bitter sorrow
Until tomorrow ?

... blasphemous priests ...

Slowly we decay
And turn again into clay ...
Isn't it God's foul play ?

... non-neocon economists ...

Inequality
In everyday life's reality
Harms its quality.

... morbid existentialists ...

Is mortality
An inherent quality
Of fatality ?

... hormones-laden youngsters  ...

Love, love, loveless love ...
Why do they deem you so low ?
Can't people see your glow ?

... verses-peddling beggars ...

Can you spare a dime
For a foolish childish rhyme ?
Or is it a crime ?

... too curious youngsters  ...

Couldn't do worse than this :
To find out what the love is
I flew to Paris.

... innocent young men ...

Beware the poor girls
Who can drown you in the whirls
Of their golden curls.

... incompetent cooks ...

My mom really meant
But wasn't able to implement
This food supplement

... disgusted mortals ...

As I increment
This world's pile of excrement
My days decrement ...

... superstitious seniors ...

Some strange nasty curse
Stole all money from my purse
And bewitched my nurse.

... Once-honest bankers  ...

Once upon a time
I got a nick'l and a dime
Commiting no crime.

... Lazy lawn keepers ...

A bull & a cow
Almost perished in a row
Who today should mow

The weather is mild
And the grass is growing wild
It can hide their child.

(Is it not crazy
To be so dull and lazy
Even to graze it ?)

To get rid of it
They bribed a greedy rabbit
Ready to grab it.

... heroic hunters ...

A cheeky little ant
Summoned an old elephant
To go for a hunt.

Killing two sparrows
With a borrowed bow'n'arrows
They felt like heroes.

But then a fierce hare
Riding an old haggard mare
Turned their pride to scare.

... ardent anti-Hegelians ...

It's insanity
To argue that quantity
Turns to quality.

... depressed evangelists ...

I have no desire
To set this fat world on fire.
It's but bog and mire.

03 October 2011

1st bunch of funny statements, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...



... self-appointed psychiatrists ...

If humanity
Can't retain its sanity
It's but vanity.

---

... overzealous prophets ...

Please curb thy desire
To live and love and inspire
Lest thou may catch fire.

---

... heretical theologians ...

Devil is evil
While angel - his cousin - good.
Why, if they've free will ?

---

... self-proclaimed sages ...

Do you comprehend
The world that you apprehend,
Or you just pretend ?

---

... liberty-loving alcoholics ...

Nothing left to booze -
How to get out of the noose
And be on the loose ?

---

... ecological doomsayers ...

The brook is foamless
But its fish became boneless
And its snails homeless.

---

... hesitant life haters ...

I would disembark
This stinky leaky old ark
But I fear a shark.

---

.. self-indulgent losers ...

Hard'n'cold is the sky ...
You'd like something soft and warm ?
Well, don't look so high.

---

... depressed lovers ...

Any dizzy spell ?
Not a bit left, I'm afraid -
Just a funny smell.

---

... pensive jailbirds ...

Final conclusion
After years of seclusion :
Free will ? Illusion !

---

... inquisitive birdwatchers ...

Please take no offence
But does it make any sense
To sleep on a fence ?

---

... doubtful believers ...

Who can really tell
What is a real difference
Between heav'n and hell ?

---

... wanna-be winners ...

Strengthen thy body
so as to toughen thy mind
lest thou may seem kind.

---

... captured straycats ...

Thy life is kept safe
In a dusty musty file
Lest it become waif.

---

... unsatisfied sex addicts ...

A bull and a cow
Have funny sex wihout love -
Why don't we right now ?

---

... desperate mortals ...

My life will expire
With nobody to inspire -
Like a log in fire ...

---

... nature-loving dadaists ...

I love that sweet shark
In the pond of Old Town's park
Singing like a lark.

---

... angry youngsters ...

Some weird twist of fate
Threw me here a bit too late
To love without hate.

---

... anxious parents ...

When streets are copless
Mas of young guys are hopeless :
All girls are topless !

---

... uncautious gamekeepers ...

That old crazy moose
Somehow got out on the loose
And drank all our booze.

---

... too thoughtful thinkers ...

This comprehensive
World makes you apprehensive
but pretty pensive.

---

... faithful moralists ...

Free will is evil -
No one can use it for good.
Only the devil ...

---

... burnt-out prophets ...

I am but dead fire
With nothing left to inspire
Or ignite desire.

---

... investigative misanthropes ...

Is humanity
A sign of insanity
Or sheer vanity ?

---

2nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy recommendations

dedicated to mavericks of any kind, be it ...

... overenthusiastic cooks ...

Where's that golden fish
Which can fulfil all you wish ?
Well - here : on the dish.

... too pushy therapists ...

Sorry, but I feel
No desire for any heal -
Please forgo your zeal.

... nasty prognosticators ...

If sound of thunder
Split the sick world asunder
No one should wonder.

... disgusting amphibians ...

A fat cheeky toad
Sits in the middle of the road
Releasing its load.

... narcissistic critcs ...

Right in the front row
Critics throw blows in a row
Who really can row.


... self-assured atheists ...

I've no confidence
In the Holy Providence :
It lacks evidence

... frustrated husbands ...

I'd at once get rich
If only could kill or ditch
My nasty old witch.

...  talkative biographers ...

To resume one's life
There is no need for much stuff
Six words must be enough.

... worried pet-lovers ...

My dog is not bad
Only sometimes he goes mad
And it makes me sad.

... dangerous cosmopolitans  ...

Give me one reason
Why should an act of treason
Destroy this Free Zone.

... ascetic eremites ...

I practise my creed
In a tiny hut of reed
With mind fully freed.

... pushy plant-growers ...

Don't you really need
This beatiful first-rate reed
For your pet as feed ?

... agressive mourners ...

Maybe tomorrow
I will drown my bad sorrow
In a wild sore row.


... reluctant believers ...

The God delusion
Is but silly conclusion
Of my confusion.

... avid proprietors ...

Hands off my privet -
It is completely private
And I can prove it !


... anxious atheists ...

The God delusion
Can have only conclusion :
Horrid confusion.

... uncautious consumers ...

A bull and a cow
Have bought a boat but can't row
"No more" : wow they - now.


... polite beggars ...

Sorry if I'm rude
But haven't you got any food
Thrown away for good ?

... bug-troubled jazzmen ...

Catch the mad hornet
That flew into your cornet
In my mom's bonnnet.

... sceptical scientists ...

Total confusion
Would be a mad conclusion
Of the cold fusion.