23rdh bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

A fat gas lighter
Bought a scrapped jet fighter
To make skies brighter

Mending the fighter
Wants to become much lighter
As well as slighter

When fit to fighter
He switches on its starter
To force skies brighter

But without engine
And no proper kerosene
He can't bright'n the scene

---

A mild acolyte
Became a fierce proselyte
To obtain more light

He is frustrated
By way the Church curated
And he was rated

His condemnation
Means eternal damnation
Without salvation

He didn't get woman
With a naked abdomen
As the faith omen

But he did find
Peace and freedom of mind
And faith that is kind

---

A huge loudspeaker
Somehow lost his right sneaker
Which made him meeker

Partly bare-footed
He feels as if uprooted
Or much polluted

To become booted
He was quite wrongly routed
Where pirates looted

But such a pirate
Has a huge and quite full crate
With stuff of high rate

They gave him a boot
Taken from their latest loot
Though for the left foot

Thus somehow booted
He is no longer looted
Or ev'n polluted

---

A glass of honey
Inherited some money
Which made him funny

He is no more sweet
But tastes like rotten beet
Or some wicked weed

No one wants to eat
Honey tasting like sour seed
Or the putrid wheat

So the honey
Quickly spent all his money
Not to be funny

He is again sweet
Far more than some sugar beet
Much pleasant to eat

---

Sorry, no more bananas today
but you can go to
http://yatib-t.blogspot.com/
to see some of my humble translation attempts ...

22nd bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---


My ancient orchard
Right behind my backyard
Now becomes but junkyard

Where you may once find
The old junk of any kind
That can come to mind

... [*]

I bribed a mustard
With a piece of faked wild card
To cleanup that junkyard

But it is too hard
For a poor ancient mustard
To make clean the yard

-

[*]

An old avatar
As well as strange movie star
Or barrel of black tar

A transformator
As well as an allocator
Or dislocator

A graduator
As well as an fornicator
Or combinator

... etc (DIY s'il vous plait)

---

A thick sloppy spook
Keeps losing her bank chequebook
Visiting a rook

She means that the rook
Has stolen her every chequebook

Like some nasty crook

But the honest rook
Says she nev'r steels a chequebook
She is not a crook

Their futile argument
That tires every oppponent
Seems to have no end

At last the rook
Finds all pieces of chequebook
By her backyard brook

So their argument
That tired every oppponent
Came to happy end

---

A young witty clock
Is now under key and lock
With suspicous flock

She pleads innocent
In a forceful argument
With her opponent

She did not download
Any copyrighted code
In illegal mode

Hard disk inspection
Ruled out all the suspicion
And proved her version

The case has been quit
With her complete acquit
Thanks to her quick wit

---

A bag of plaster
Would like to harden faster
Which is disaster

If hardened faster
The light shed on the plaster
Can lose its luster

But the plaster
Means that hardening faster
Would please the caster

But the caster
Doesn't think hardening faster
Is good for plaster

But stupid plaster
Anyway hardened faster
Annoying caster

He says that plaster
Which hardened so much faster
Is hard to master

---

My water heater
Is an ardent meat eater
And wicked cheater

He makes but little heat
But eats huge amounts of meat
While trying to cheat

If he keeps to cheat
I may deprive him of meat
Some weed will he eat

The threat did succeed
From now on he does not cheat
And ev'n eats less meat

---

A drunk computer
Scrapped his advanced new scooter
Wounding commuter

Annoyed commuter
Threatens to sue computer
Calling him looter

But the computer
Blames his GPS router
Who didn't switch hooter

The accused router
Says that the drunk computer
Didn't brake the scooter

At last computer
Paid the wounded commuter
With his srapped scooter

---

21st bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...

---

Once upon a time
When all the world was but slime
A virus lost dime

He claims it's a crime
That somebody stole his dime
And hid it in slime

But an E.coli
Means that what he tells is lie
As he's pretty sly

You can't have a dime
If the world is only slime
It's not the right time

He says it isn't lie
Because slime rule doesn't apply
To things that can fly

And he had a dime
Now lost somewhere in the slime
By some vicious crime

---

An old paradigm
Somehow lost her only dime
In the pail of slime

She sits on the lime
Peering straight into the slime
But can't see the dime

Jumping from the lime
She should dive into the slime
To retrieve her dime

But worn paradigm
Could not dive into the slime
Even in her prime

So she hired a snail
Promising him a long nail
If he dives to pail

But the greedy snail
Says that only for a nail
He wouldn't dive to pail

So the paradigm
Lost forever her last dime
In the pail of slime

---

A conceited prime
Is said to commit a crime
Stealing a worn rhyme

She says that the rhyme
Is in public a long time
So it is no crime

If a decent prime
Stole a copyrighted rhyme
She would become slime

At the present time
There's no copyrighted rhyme
Only a proud prime

---

I am suspicious
That my baby is vicious
Though looks delicious

She is but too smart
In ripping my heart apart
Giving me a start

When I sleep dead drunk
She copulates with a skunk
Disgusting like gunk

She says I'm insane
And cures me with her long cane
Giving me much pain

---

My stupid monkey
Listens to my wild funky
And becomes junkie

As he is clunky
Doesn't know that such wild funky
Isn't good for monkey

For him is hip-hop
Or some really stupid pop
From which kitch may drop

But such dull music
Makes him quite a bit too sick
As it has no lick

So to my monkey
I play a kind of funky
But quite out of key

---

A worn anorak
Discovered that his ancient truck
Got a serious crack

He is really struck
By such a batch of bad luck
For his rusty truck

In utter despair
He tries some available repair
With nothing to spare

With a band-aid
Obtained from his loving maid
He tries some first aid

It is understood
That despite his nasty mood
It cannot be good

A sadistic brack
Offers him some other truck
If he goes to rack

But no anorak
Would go to a torture rack
For the sake of truck

He accepts this wrack
Scraps for good his old truck
And escapes to crack

---

In my ancient pail
I found a little pretty whale
Playing with a snail

But the wicked snail
Abuses the little poor whale
With his rusty nail

If he doesn't behave
I will throw him to the cave
Or some musty grave

He's afraid of cave
Let alone a musty grave
And tries to behave

So in my old pail
Plays a whale
Along with snail
And no one must wail

---

A poor orator
Likes to speak on Creator
And alligator

...[*]

An old curator
Means that such orator
Is a harm factor

At last orator
Became a good narrator
And fruitful author


His crazy tales
On life in ancient Wales
... [*]
Have quite good sales


[*]

On transformator
As well as on allocator
Or dislocator

On graduator
As well as on fornicator
Or combinator

... etc (DIY s'il vous plait)

---

20th bunch of strange confessions, weird questions & crazy narrations

dedicated to fools & mavericks of any kind ...


---

A lively spider
Likes to drink orange cider
Which makes his webs wider

Sitting in his glider
- Always an easy rider -
He just drinks cider

When he once landed
He found cider rebranded
Which left him grounded

New brand of cider
Doesn't allow make webs wider
By gliding spider

So grounded spider
Became rodeo rider
Selling his glider

---

A dull shopping cart
Thinks it will be pretty smart
To get into chart

He founded a band
With a true-original brand
"The magical land"

None of them can play
But they hope that in LA
They'll find chicks to lay

All DJ's got his pay
In order to play and play
His song
on King-Kong

But his horrible art
Will never get in any chart
To rip world apart

---

An old-fashioned table
Who spent his life in a horse stable
Became unstable

There is a false fable
That he is as well unable
Find way to his stable

As he does not drink
- All booze for him is but stink -
There's no probable link

At medical station
Doctor's examination
Found explanation

He has forgotten
That one his leg is rotten
Which made it shorten

---

A thick slice of slate
Who's never been a bit late
Married a tin plate

Alas - the poor plate
Just cannot help being late
Which annoys the slate

But he has courage
To sustain his new marriage
Loving her porridge

She's wonderful cook
Who can cook
Even old rook
Or a rusty hook

Without other tease
Thanks to her huge expertise
They can live at ease

---

A bag of stale air
Wails he is treated unfair
Which makes him despair

His wife the rich chair
Refused to admit his share
In firm that makes hair

Now the supreme court
Gave him the legal support
Which she can't distort

Thus his legal share
Amounts to pair of dog's hair
Anyway to spare

---

If our Creator
Is love'n'peace generator,
Hate suffocator

How can he sustain
All this world's strain
And the millions slain ?

If this world's tension
Is part of his intention
Why this pretention ?

---

A triple-twisted wire
From by now uncompleted spire
Likes to play with fire

But the timid spire
Is afraid of every fire
Produced by the wire

So his obsession
With no chance of progression
Lead to regression

Even a bonfire
Can any longer inspire
The once obsessed wire

So glad is the spire
That she now allows the wire
To heat her by fire

Properly heated
She feels so greatly treated
As if completed

---

Has a Gothic spire
Any power to inspire
Wicked human mire ?

Are we to expire
Without bit of internal fire ?
Is future so dire ?

---

A bottle of Rhine wine
Noticed that her double-curved spine
Started to incline

Doctor Centipede
Sent her to an orthopede
With suspicious speed

Examination
Concludes age declinatin
Lead to inclination

She is not so old
Thus unafraid of their scold
Suggests her bad cold

New explanation
Says that intoxication
Lead to inclination

---

A slim trunk of junk
Wants to learn how to slamdunk
Thus increase his spunk

He pays an old skunk
Who coaches the team of gunk
And is always drunk

He tries really hard
To jump up the required yard
Aided by a faked card

But it's understood
He can't make more than a foot
There is no dispute

So the drunken skunk
Suggests to get rid of junk
To make the ball sunk

But he loves his junk
And rather gives up slamdunk
Though he'll get no spunk

---

A pail of mustard
Would like to play with faked card
Thus become more smart

She is too honest
Doesn't want to foul her own nest
So it's tough request

Her husband custard
Does not think it is so hard
To play with faked card

In their own backyard
He copulates with a lard
Who is not too smart

That gave her the spunk
To have wild sex with a skunk
So low has she sunk

So now the mustard
Has learned to play with faked card
And became more smart